Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Just Another Pastor's Wife...

Since I wrote the last post, I have had dozens of post ideas. I wrote some of them down. not all of them, because, you know, a 3yo and a 16mo boy. [sigh]

What was I saying? oh yes, ideas. Post ideas. I had some of them mostly written in my head, I just couldn't get them out of my head and onto some digital/written form in time.

Also, the thought keeps running through my mind that I'm not sure what I have to offer, as far as insight and creative posts and relevant ideas goes. I stay at home. with 2 young boys. Some days I'm doing good to get them fed and clothed. I didn't know about the last mass shooting for several days, because we watch Curious George, or Mighty Machines, or Daniel Tiger, or the occasional adult show I get to watch, on Netflix and Amazon Prime. Even when we do watch live tv, I usually have on Qubo, or PBS. I don't usually get the news, I'm tired by then...

I could go on here, but the intent is coming through. What do I have to offer that thousands of mommy-bloggers don't already cover? Not to malign mommy bloggers, some of them/ya'll are great, articulate, relevant, insightful.

But what does that leave me with?

I have a friend from when I was a kid, her name is cynthia, because I need to be able to name her, and her life is amazing right now. She graduated from an MBA program, and through that program she was able to go to Singapore and Vietnam, she and her husband make much more than my DH and I will make, ever, even if I go back to work full time. She dresses up and wears nice things, they take expensive vacations, have nice things, live in a beautiful house, and I know her well enough to know that she is very happy, and so is her family.

I am so jealous. We're going to Missouri to see family for vacation, and we're driving. On really exciting days we go to the library for story time. Going to Walmart or HEB is a treat, and getting to go in the evenings without the kids feels like a vacation. DH is still doing karate, so he's gone evenings monday, wednesday, thursday, and friday. On days like this past saturday he goes out to watch the mma fights. My daily events are emptying the dishwasher, filling the dishwasher, laundry, and cleaning the kitchen. And the stupid high chair tray. I hate that thing! It's always dirty!!

I feel like the world is passing me by.

I know I'm not the only SAH mom who feels like this, and it upsets me a bit that I'm falling prey to this feeling.

So, what does this leave me with? 

I will attempt to keep making posts. I will try once a day to sit down and see what pops out of my head. And I'll try once a week to write something.

I keep trying to come up with something clever to end this with. I've typed about 6 endings now. I guess I'll give up and just say goodnight.