Monday, September 17, 2012

My poor husband!

Perhaps, for some of my IRL friends, this may be TMI. This is a post about sex.

Poor MSJ.

With the pregnancy I have zero sex drive. ZERO. NONE. no interest at all. It doesn't hurt or anything, but I don't really have any interest in it.

Normally I have a pretty active sex drive, and that has worked well for both of us. And I'm not necessarily opposed to sex, I'm just not going to seek it out. That puts MSJ at a bit of an impasse. He wants sex, but he knows I'm just going along for the ride, I'm getting nothing out of it. That feels sort of wrong to him, like he's using me, and that isn't sitting well with him. He wants me to be actively engaged, and I try, but really, I'm not.

On Sunday he tried seducing me, but it was so obviously not working. Mostly he was just annoying me. That made me laugh, which made him sigh. I told him I loved him, and that it would get better after I have the baby.

So for now, he's having to make do with rather perfunctory sex, I'm involved merely as a spectator. It's a bit disheartening for both of us.

Someone please tell me my sex drive will return post-partum!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

I don't understand...

I don't have a problem with hunting. I really don't.

I understand hunting deer or elk for food, and antlers, but most use the meat, so I understand that.

I understand hunting predators if you're a rancher. I don't always agree with it, but I understand the motive to protect your investment. I really hate hunting wolves and large cats because mostly they don't take out cows and sheep, but if they are preying on your livelihood, I do understand.

I'm not a huge fan of hunting for furs, but I understand that, too. You have to make a living, and people want furs. Hell, I want a fur coat, I can't condemn someone for making a living killing things that I want turned into a coat.

But seriously.

A zebra?

You're not going to eat it. You're probably not going to use the skin. The most you're probably going to do is cut the head off and mount it on the wall.

And how hard is it, really, to take down a zebra? And I KNOW you didn't go to africa, so that means you took it down in a hunting park. With a fence. Now, minor props because you used a bow, but still. A Zebra??? You could have accomplished the same thing by waiting for one to die naturally, then cut the head off and mount it.

I just don't understand...

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

It's been how long??

I'm not sure how that happened. Time goes by fast.

I'm 26 weeks pregnant. only 14 more to go!

I found out 2 weeks ago that I have gestational diabetes.

My hands have also started swelling, which is often an indication of preeclampsia, but my blood pressure is still low, so they don't know what that means. It might just be that I'm retaining tons of water (which I am, I'm wearing the 15-20mmHG diabetic compression socks), and that the hand thing is an extension of that. Still, it makes me worry.

I thought I was handling it all ok, but yesterday I fell apart in the OB's (Dr. H) office, so I guess maybe it's stressing me out more than I think. Based on a couple of my fasting sugar numbers, there's a good chance that I will have to go on medication before the end of the pregnancy. yay. because I need MORE medication!

It's a big pain in the butt. I have to take my blood sugar 2 hours after each meal, and 1 fasting. That's 4 times a day. I usually do the fasting one first thing in the morning. I have a nutritionist, but I'm not sure about her. The diet she put me on increased my calories by about 250/day, and she added more carbs to my diet. Really? Because apparently, I wasn't eating enough carbs! I know, sounds crazy to me, too. Which is one reason I'm not sure about her.

She asked me to track my meals and sugar. So, little miss OCD that I can be sometimes, I found an online tracker and starting recording my sugars and diet. Then I printed the reports and emailed them to the nutritionist, and took a copy of them to my ob/gyn. She was so excited and impressed to get all the information. I thought everyone did that, but I guess I'm a bit of an outlier on this.

Anyway, fell apart in the OB's office yesterday. Dr H asked my worst case scenario, which for an older mom with gestational diabetes and the potential for preeclampsia (though slight at this point), and the worst case scenario is a still-born. Makes me cry if I think about it too long, so that's the last time I'll even mention it. She reassured me, and told me that for the next few weeks she'll have me come in once a week to make sure baby is still doing ok. The next worst thing is a C-section. I can't express how much I don't want a C-section. I'm willing to do a lot, a LOT, to prevent that. Including exercising up to the day of delivery, and sticking my stupid fingers 4 times a day.

Dr. H also referred me for a second size scan ultrasound. (Did I mention we're having a boy? No? Oh, we're having a boy!). He was in the 93rd percentile for size at the first ultrasound, and Dr H wants to make sure he's still on the right track. I'm guessing that if he starts to get too big they might induce early. But medical induction (by all accounts) hurt a lot worse than natural induction. And then maybe I won't be able to do the whole no-med thing.

MSJ and I went to our first Bradley Method class last night. It was good, I'm not sure I agree with all of it, but it seems like good information, and anything that will help before the labor is good. That means I have some exercises I have to do each day. I figure since we're paying for it, I'm going to learn something. If absolutely nothing else, learning to relax should help the anxiety I've been having lately. Plus, the lady wasn't personally offended that I still might consider pain relief if the labor goes on for too long. She's also a lactation consultant, so that's a good resource to have on hand.

I haven't really gained any more weight. I gained about 20lbs in the first 4 months, but I haven't really gained since then. That makes me happy, and as long as peanut is still growing well then all the better. He can suck all that excess fat off of me.

Dr H told me I had to stop CrossFit, said it was a little too high impact. We had modified it down, but she still said no. So I went to a YMCA that's not too far from us, and I've begun swimming. Although it might be raining today, so I might not get to swim. However, because I am sometimes a smart little cookie, I also have workout gear in a separate bag so I can walk/run/weights if I can't swim. They have childcare starting at 6 weeks, so it will be good after peanut is born, too.

I guess that's it for now. I hope I'll be back soon.