Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Can you keep a secret?

Here we go again.

I'm a little over 7 weeks now. Already my feet swell up mightily some days, I have had a couple of days where you actually couldn't tell where my leg ended and where my foot began. And out of breath, oh my gosh. I walk more than 20 yards and I have to stop and catch my breath. And those inches I'd lost, they're slowly creeping back on. But in a good way.

I'm out of most of my pants, and I needed to go buy more, but I looked online and you can buy lots of maternity clothes cheap, so I'm buying maternity pants 2nd (or 3rd or 4th, whatever) hand rather than on new non-maternity ones that I will still outgrow in a few months.

I am hesitant to put this on here. I feel like I'm tempting Fate, and those were some bitchy gods.

Besides, MSJ and I mutually decided to not tell anyone until the end of the first trimester. That's 2 more weeks, and I won't make it that long. As it is I have so much going on inside my head that I had to get some of it out.

So IRL FRIENDS:: DO NOT LET ON THAT YOU KNOW THIS INFORMATION!! No random excited squeals, no excessively long hugs, no knowing winks or questions or advise or anything.
I told MSJ last night that I wasn't sure if buying maternity clothes was a good idea, because if we lose another one it will have been a waste of money. He said he thought that it wouldn't be an issue, that we would be fine. So I'm placing my trust in his Faith, because mine is pretty weak at the moment.

I'm trying not to worry,

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:25a, 27, 34

or be terrified every day

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

but some days it's hard. Every ache, every little cramp, every strange feeling, every time I need to go poop, and my first thought is OH NO!

Once we get past the 9 week period I think I'll get better, I lost our first one at about 9 weeks.