Monday, March 5, 2012

MSJ's family, blessings, and letting go

I wrote a few posts back that MSJ's sister is pregnant.

Found out on last Monday night MSJ's brother's wife (MSJ's SIL, and I guess, by extension, my SIL, too) is also pregnant.

Found out last week, I think Wednesday, that MSJ's mother's fiance (Fred) has stage 4 adenocarcinoma and has multiple lesions in his lungs.

Also, his mother is getting married on March 17th.

That's a lot of emotion to handle within 1 week, and none of it happened to me!!

MSJ and I blessed the bedroom yesterday with a mezuzah. I asked him if it was ok to put a Jewish blessing on our Christian house, and he replied that the Jewish culture is our cultural heritage. Christians came from the Jewish religion, and that we are Children of Israel,

"This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus. -Ephesians 3:6

And since we're the same, he didn't feel that God would be upset that we took an old-testament command and used in today. And apparently, the woman who owned the house before us was Jewish, because there is a mezuzah on the outside of the front door frame. So, probably there was on on that door frame at one time already. I have to say, that the little gesture, made me

So, with the blessing of the bedroom, maybe I'm free to let the pain of the miscarriage go. I'll always wonder about her/him. Who s/he would be, what s/he would look like. It's funny, I never doubted the child going to heaven. I always knew. I didn't like that I lost him/her early, but I didn't doubt his/her place in God's Kingdom.

My heart feels lighter. My mind is a little calmer. It's a little easier to smile. My dreams last night weren't as hard, I wasn't struggling all night. And, God willing, we'll have another little miracle to look forward in the not to distant future.

As God wills.


ste said...

The last half of your post made me smile - and not just a little smile, a big one from the heart. I'm so happy you are healing and thinking of the future!

Sometimes I wish I were Jewish. It intrigues me.

rockle said...

i am not a particularly religious person, as you know, but i ALWAYS feel better in houses that have mezuzot, for some reason. regardless of the beliefs of whoever lives in the house. mezuzot are very comforting.