Wednesday, November 16, 2011

sad rambling

So, last night was a bad night. I had to tell my Aunt Marsha about the baby. She was the last one, and I was dreading the call. I did ok on the call, but after that I fell apart. Now, the kitchen was dirty, my husband made a big batch of Green Lemon-Egg soup (better than it sounds), and made many dirty pots and pans, and since he's totally a man, they were still sitting the stove 3 days later. This annoyed the heck out of me. So, I loaded as many as I could into the dishwasher, then had to hand wash the rest. This annoyed me even more. I have destroyed several things in the garbage disposal, so I usually keep a strainer-thing over it to keep unwanted items from dropping into. MSJ laughs at me, so last night I decided not to use it. Then I destroyed an important piece to our garlic grinder. Which totally ticked me off. TOTALLY ticked me off. So I yelled, a bit irrationally, and a bit unfairly, at MSJ, that it was his fault since he made fun of me for using the strainer in the first place. Then I burst into tears. He stood looking at me with complete confusion on his poor face. He asked if I was mad at him, or something he did. I assured him it wasn't his fault, it was just hitting me hard again. So I went to take a shower, and it was a total cliche, standing crying in the shower. My sweet kind gently husband got into the shower with me and held me tight and told me he loved me. I finally stopped crying, we went out and watched some funny tv shows (we had to pass several depressing/violent/graphic shows along the way) and then went to bed. I had bad dreams all night. The best, and last one, was that I was trying to take the SAT's and the questions were really obscure and random questions, and I didn't know any of the answers, and everyone around me was turning in their papers really early, and I was running out of time, and then i woke up. I don't know if there is any meaning in that or not. All in all, not a great night. But, as I read going out the door this morning, "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it-Psalms 118:24." I'm not sure about the rejoicing, but I'll at least try not to be disagreeable and bitter.

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