I know you guys must be a little tired of reading about this, and I'm a little tired of writing about it. For my sake, and my few devoted readers, I'll try to give this incident a rest after this post.
So, went to see the psychiatrist on Wednesday. I didn't cry, but it was hard to tell the story again. Then I mentioned that I had had at least 1 hypo-manic (higher than normal for me, but not screaming-high-MANIC), probably 3. It took until the 3rd one before I realized what was happening. I realized it when I was was sitting in church last sunday and I had to stifle the urge to laugh during the service.
This concerned my doc, and I was prescribed an additional 50mg dose each day. I can tell it has helped, my mind is my own again, I'm not struggling with concentration, apathy, anxiety, annoyance, avoidance, pick another a-word. [As a lead in, I can always find something to be concerned about] On the other hand, I'm a little concerned that I've cut off my grieving period a little too soon. I'm in a good mood, but it feels artificial. Like I wasn't done grieving, but the medication adjustment changed my mind chemically, without me actually getting over this event. After the appointment I was also given a card and told to call, any time of the day or night, if I needed anything or had suicidal thoughts. In this whole time I haven't had a suicidal/homicidal/damage inflicting thought, but they are concerned. I wonder if I should be, too?