Tuesday, October 26, 2010

One More Step

We got our marriage license today. It cost us $11.

only 11 days left now. I'm not panic-ing yet. yet.

Saturday is my bachelorette party. We're going out here on the island.

Out Of Town Friends: If you weren't on the evite, it was because you're Out of Town, and you probably wouldn't want to come down 2 weekends in a row. If I'm wrong, and you want to come, let me know and I'll forward information.

I'm going to be a Zombie Bride. I'll post some pictures. If I'm not too hung over. Hopefully.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Trivia Friday...on Saturday... oops!

Which is where this week's trivia comes in: these questions (which are, once again, not trivia questions, but more of an informal survey) are all about stuff that I have done, would do, or would like to do around Halloween and Halloween parties. Standard trivia rules apply. One point per question, 30 points total. How may of my answers do you think you can match?

Three not-especially-scary Halloween-ish movies: Garfield Halloween, Charlie Brown Halloween, and Simpson's TreeHouse of Terror, I-XXI

Three scary / horror / Halloween movies: Friday the 13th, the original Scream, Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Three songs that you might hear on the radio around Halloween: Monster Mash...are there other halloween songs?

Three things that you might do at a Halloween party besides eat candy and watch movies: bob for apples, carve pumpkin, and water balloon toss (we were in the South, it was still warm!)

Three kinds of candy that come "fun-sized" at Halloween: snickers, baby ruth, Mounds

Three kinds of candy that you would always give away when you got it in your treat bag: malted balls, licorice, oranges

Three Halloween costumes that you have worn in the last 15 years: Elmo (not a sexy one), little black cat (sexy), Always-a-Brides-Maid-Never-A-Bride
Three writers known for scary stories: Stephen King, Micheal Chriton?, Clive Barker

Three actors or actresses that you associate with horror or monster movies:

Three decorations besides pumpkins that you see around Halloween:Ghosts, skeletons, I just saw a Mickey Mouse with a Trick-or-Treat bag, does that count?

Oh My GOsh!! 25 out of 30!! I never get that many!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I think I like this

Hey Mom,

I forgot to tell you, we're having the Church Bridal Shower on Sunday, both churches were invited. This past Sunday we were invited to a member's house for a Domino's night. Well, it turned into a mini-surprise-shower. We got lots of nice bakeware, a huge really nice skillet, a neat appetizer bowl, and all of the food that was in them. If the shower is anything like that, we'll have more stuff than we can use in 5 years! But, I'm looking forward to the cake and punch and friends at the shower.

A Lady in Matt's church is so excited that she's going to write up an article and send it in with lots of pictures for the Lutheran Witness. Something about a Pastor Get's Married, or some such sentimental goofy thing. I internally rolled my eyes, but told her if she wanted to she could. So then she decided that the local paper should do a piece, too. Matt brought the idea to me, and I said I didn't think so, but he had to ask so he wouldn't have to lie to her. She had already called the newspaper. So when Matt said no, we'd pass, the reporter asked if he could do the piece from a different perspective, that we're doing this marriage thing the 'Right Way', as in not moving in together, friends first then dating, inexpensive wedding, that sort of thing. I agreed tentatively. I'd like to talk to the reporter before I agree to anything. I also asked Matt if it was absolutely necessary that they use my name. He laughed and said yes.

Today is Dad's Birthday. I called him this morning, Bro and SIL are taking him out to dinner. That should be a blast for him. I tried to get him to meet Matt and I down in this area tomorrow evening, but he didn't want to.

Tonight is my cake tasting. Yippee, I love cake!

Lots of Love
~SMurF

I like this format. I'm getting stuff out of my head and onto the screen and that's making me a bit more sane. Which, I totally need right now. It's all stuff I would have told mom, and since I can't directly tell her, this is a decent alternative. Not great, but better than any of my ideas so far.

Let me know if you like it.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Something new

Dear Mom,

I tried on my wedding dress tonight, hopefully for the last time before the wedding. The little cap sleeves were too tight, and since Matt is 6'2", I needed more room than that. I thought that the dress would look fine with the sleeves removed, just a tank top, but since the lady who is doing all of the alterations is doing them for $150, I didn't push it. They will be a little poofy, but oh well. It will make us laugh in 10 years.

Tomorrow I'm meeting with my friend who is making my cake. It will be Vanilla Almond with raspberry filling. She just had a daughter, the baby is 4 weeks old. I told her if it was too much, I could find someone else, but she's quite sure she wants to do it, so I'll let her. Tomorrow I also need to talk to a lady in Matt's church, she's making the pew decorations. I'd like to go see them before I agree to do all of the pews.

Aunt Marsha's invitation was returned, I had the old PO address, not the street address. Still, you'd think with it being such a small town they'd just forward it. It was obviously an invitation of some sort.

Speaking of out of town relatives, Mike and Donna are coming down. I was pleasantly surprised! Dad was, too.

Dad came down monday and Matt helped him cut down all of the trash in the back yard. After the remodel when they TORE UP the back yard to get to the sewer line I let the trash trees grow back up, so dad and Matt cleaned up. I also had him cut down the crepe myrtle tree to a crepe myrtle bush. There are now 2 large piles of limbs in front of the house, it looks like just after Ike.

I miss you. Every day I think of something else to tell you. I've been getting more and more agitated the closer I get to the wedding, and I figured out yesterday it's because I am finally understanding that you're gone. You won't be there to help me get dressed, or to watch me walk down the aisle. You won't be there to laugh with me about the women of the church, to laugh at me when I say or do something embarrassing. You won't be there the first time Matt and I have our first fight, to offer an ear and advice. I didn't ask you questions about your early marriage because I thought there would still be time.

Matt will be here soon, so I need to clean up my kitchen. It's a mess, as usual. I love you!

Monday, October 18, 2010

(sigh)

Ok, I've gotten past that last slightly frantic post. I'm thinking it was a combination of stress and hormones. There were a couple of rough days last week, and I'm due to start this week, so I'm retroactively calling it PMS.

There's lots of thoughts racing through my head, but I can't seem to get them into type. I've just spent the last 5 minutes staring out the window but not seeing a darn thing, just sort of drifting.

So, for now I'll just post:

(sigh) I'm sleeping in tomorrow.

Monday, October 11, 2010

cool!

The making of Ephemicropolis from Peter Root on Vimeo.

A Strange Thing Occurs To Me

So, I'm getting a little freaked out about this wedding. And it's not the wedding, it's the marriage.

In all seriousness, what if he drives me crazy in a year? There isn't even divorce, as abhorrent as I would find that, as an option if he genuinely annoys me in a year. And then what do I do?

I was talking, well, emailing, with a friend of mine this morning. And it occured to me that the people who have known me the longest, Re~, Cyn, Roni, even Leesha, none of them are at all surprised by the fact that I'm marrying a Pastor. My family is a little surprised, but then, my aunts and uncles and cousins, and, even my brother, don't know me as well as those friends do. And my friends aren't surprised.

I guess that says something. I'm not entirely sure what is says, but it must mean something.

Maybe that sometimes your friends know you better than you know yourself? Or that sometimes you have to step outside of a situation to see what's really going on?

Or is it that there are parts of my personality that I've never shown anyone? The things I think that I don't share. Like, what if we're married for a year, or 2 or 5, and he genuinely annoys me, to the point that I stop enjoying his company? Then what?

And you thought I was a glass-half-full kind of girl.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Another Depressing Family Post

Update: So, it turns out that all of this animosity between my brother and I isn't coming from my brother. It's coming from my SIL. I finally got my dad to tell me what was going on, and it's my SIL. Apparently anything I have ever told Bro and SIL in the past 5 years is now fuel for the "SMurF Shouldn't Be In Charge Of The Money" discussion. And it's my dad's fault because they (mom and dad) never treated my BRO right, and they (Bro and SIL) never wanted dad's money, and that all I want from dad is his money, and because I'm BiPolar, and so terribly irresponsible with money I'll probably blow through my money within 2 years, and then I'll have to ask my BRO and SIL for money. There were more things that my dad relayed to me, but I don't remember them all. Crazy stuff. My SIL has gone off the deep end.



For the past 2 years we have gone to see the Nutcracker. It had become something of a tradition, one mom and SIL and Emma and I looked forward to. Last weekend dad asked me to get in touch with SIL and see if they wanted to go, and when. That way we could get tickets early and not have to pay so much.

I called SIL this morning, she was pretty rude on the phone, and I asked her if she still wanted to go to Nutcracker, and when. She told me it was too far away, and she didn't know, and then she hung up.

Dad called me about an hour ago, SIL had called dad and told him that he didn't need to worry about tickets to the Nutcracker for them, if they decided to go they would pay for their own tickets.

Dad called me almost in tears. I told him I was sorry, that I had tried, and that to tell me what to do to fix it and I would. I would do whatever it took to fix this. He told me that there wasn't a way to fix it, that there wasn't anything I could do to change anything. Then he asked me if they, Bro and SIL, were coming to the wedding. I told him I didn't know, that I hoped so, that I had wanted Emma to be a Flower Girl, but that I hadn't had a chance to ask her since I hadn't seen them since the funeral.

I don't know. I don't know what I said, or what I did. I don't know when I said or did it. This is breaking Dad's heart, and if he has to choose he'll choose Emma over me and Fiance. I guess I would, too. He feels the need to keep in touch with his granddaughter, and I don't begrudge him that.

Dear God, please show me the path. Give me the words that will help bridge this gap. Give us all peace, and help us get through this and come out good on the other side. Help heal broken hearts and hurt feelings. Amen.

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