Monday, July 26, 2010

Another Blog/Dating question

I had a discussion/argument/situation that came up today, and I need the advice of my bloggy friends.

As I may have blogged before, I am rather private, and especially with my personal life.

Last week Thursday my BF and I came out to Facebook.

The next day my friend was trying to be cute and asked me if we had 'consumated' anything yet. Once again, I had a rather strong reaction. This time I did manage to better control my external reaction. I said, with not really any smile or anything, that I knew she thought she was being funny, but I really didn't think it was funny. She got rather defensive, so I backed off.

Yesterday afternoon I tried again. I asked her to please not make comments like that because (I finally figured it out) it really embarrasses me. REALLY Embarrasses Me. Once again, she got really defensive, telling me she 'wished I didn't over-react to things like that. It was only once!' I was trying to say that, yes, I understood that it was once, but it made me really uncomfortable and I just wanted my feelings known. As a final shot, she told me that she didn't think I would be so sensitive, the way I write my blog.

Step Back.

Dear Bloggy Friends: Do I have the right to expect that what I write on my blog (viewed by only a few IRL friends) be kept, well, I guess personal? On the one hand, once it's written and posted on my blog it is now public domain, and therefore inherently no longer personal. On the other hand, the fact that this blog is largely anonymous, and therefore something that I try to keep personal, or at least, NOT open to my direct community, then should my IRL friends respect the fact that sometimes I don't want to discuss it?

Maybe I am being overly sensitive about all of this. I'm not shy about discussing sex and relationships and such, but, except for very long ago, I'm not explicit about what and how and when. So that when a situation like this arises, I'm not comfortable about discussing the details of the physical relationship, I'm not really even comfortable discussing this AT ALL, except through this filter of a blog to a mostly anonymous audience.
Everyone pretty much assumes that, as a Pastor, BF isn't running around sleeping with women, and that means that pretty much everyone will assume that BF and I aren't having sex, so that finally means that everyone will be wink-wink-knudge-knudge about our wedding night. You can't believe how that thought makes my stomach knot up.

Monday, July 19, 2010

A good weekend

So, since we didn't have a tv at my house for movie night, we played games. we played Cranium, Turbo Edition. BF and I lost.

My awesome boyfriend had an extra tv, so he brought me his extra. yay! It's the same era as mine was, but it's a larger tv. I am very happy to have a tv again.

We spent a good chunk of time on saturday together. After some time in the afternoon, we went to Downtown, had some really good Indian food, went to the opera, had some coffee and dessert, and headed back home. It was a really nice time, we enjoyed the whole evening.

This morning I woke up with an alarming headache. This is the second such headache in 2 weeks. I hope, I really really hope that this isn't the beginning of a pattern. I don't want migraines.

I went to a baby shower on Sunday afternoon. I didn't really have much money to spend, so I made a little pair of booties and 2 little hats, a little pink one and a little variegated (pink, purple and cream) frilly one. She really liked the hats.

I'm going home for my niece's birthday on saturday, she turns 5! really? 5? already? It doesn't seem possible that it's been 5 years since she was born.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The End of my World!

aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

My TV has died!!! What will I do???

The sky is falling!!!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Gary Gnu: Where No Gnews is good Gnews

hm.

Not much happening in my life right now.

I was supposed to go home this past weekend, but saturday I had a headache. A really nasty headache, I was light sensitive and nauseous. I don't think it was a migraine, if so it was a pretty mild one. But still, driving 2 hours was just more than I could manage.

About 2 weeks back I was looking online for some herbal/at home remedies for an appetite stimulant for mom. I found a couple, and then some prescriptions that are labeled as appetite stimulants. I meant to mail them, but they got buried under the paperwork at my desk, so I was just going to take them home with me this weekend, but then, I didn't GO home this weekend, so I mailed them yesterday. I asked dad to check with Kris, their Cancer Hospital nurse and see what she thought about them. Hopefully something will pan out from this.

I'm also going to try to get mom in to see a psychiatrist. Maybe a competent one this time. One that is in network, and therefore covered with a copay, and not the deductible. One that is willing to try different anti-depressants with different doses and maybe get some relief for mom's depression.

On a happier note, the boyfriend (hereafter known as BF) and I are doing well. We're going to try to spend saturday together. Hopefully we won't want to strangle each other by the end of the day. He's taking me to the Symphony, The Planets Plus Star Wars, on saturday night. I'm not big on symphony, so this one includes a planetarium and light show to go with the music. I'm going to try to drag him to the Farmer's Market a little further up the road from us on saturday morning. Which, btw, if any of my IRL friends want to go, that would be excellent!

I need to make a baby gift for a girlfriend of mine, it's a little late, so I think I'll just try for a little hat and booties. It should only take a couple of hours, so that's do-able for a sunday afternoon shower.

I guess that's about it. Work is still moving along. House is still in good shape. Family is still family. Friends are still friends.

Dear God, thank you for a life that is still moving in the right direction. Amen.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I hate when I do stuff like this

I sometimes think I'd lose my head if it wasn't sewn on.

I went to the state LWML convention in June. I pay for everything up front and my society will reimburse me.

I submitted receipts, and got a check Sunday morning.

Now, I know, I KNOW, I put that check in my purse. But when I got to the bank yesterday I couldn't find it. I took everything out of my purse, looked all through my wallet, nothing.

I thought, Oh Shit! I knew the skirt I had worn didn't have any pockets, but I checked the laundry anyway. I had thrown away the bulletin for the service, so I got the trash bag out of the can and dug through until I found the bulletin, but no check.

I had cleaned the house very well for the 4th of July party, but I checked all around my tables and kitchen counters, in the drawers of the China Hutch, nothing.

CRAP!!!

I went through my purse again, and thought to look into my little pocket calendar. There it was! I have no idea WHY I put it there. I breathed a very large sigh of relief. Now I didn't have to go back to my society and tell them that we need to put a stop payment on the check, because I lost it within 48 hours.

And they want to make me president of my Zone. Hang on tight, ladies, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Worth it in the end

On Tuesday I was eating lunch with 2 of my bestest friends.

An off-hand comment was made, and I reacted pretty strongly to it. K asked me, 'So, have you and BF kissed yet?' It majorly irritated me. Like, really. so I responded pretty quickly and passionately, 'You do not get an accounting of our sex life!'

I had to stop and think about why I reacted so strongly, and where the irritation came from.

The comment itself was not offensive. And it wasn't intended to be. I know that. Logically, I know that. Emotionally, though, it struck a chord in me.

I have figured out why. If this was any other man, at this point, while I would be talking about a bf, no one would have met him yet, and I wouldn't be giving very much detail about the relationship yet.

But, as K said, 'This is BF!'

Which makes it a little worse. Him being a Pastor is an added layer of complexity to an already involved process. Dating is hard. Trying to bring 2 lives together is a complex thing. Trying to bring 2 lives together when one of them lives a very public life is even more so.

As we make this relationship more public, especially to his congregation, it will be increasingly hard to keep the intimate parts(and I don't mean sex here) of the relationship private.

And for someone who is as private as I am, this is going to be hard. Worth it in the end, but hard none-the-less.

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