Monday, October 11, 2010

A Strange Thing Occurs To Me

So, I'm getting a little freaked out about this wedding. And it's not the wedding, it's the marriage.

In all seriousness, what if he drives me crazy in a year? There isn't even divorce, as abhorrent as I would find that, as an option if he genuinely annoys me in a year. And then what do I do?

I was talking, well, emailing, with a friend of mine this morning. And it occured to me that the people who have known me the longest, Re~, Cyn, Roni, even Leesha, none of them are at all surprised by the fact that I'm marrying a Pastor. My family is a little surprised, but then, my aunts and uncles and cousins, and, even my brother, don't know me as well as those friends do. And my friends aren't surprised.

I guess that says something. I'm not entirely sure what is says, but it must mean something.

Maybe that sometimes your friends know you better than you know yourself? Or that sometimes you have to step outside of a situation to see what's really going on?

Or is it that there are parts of my personality that I've never shown anyone? The things I think that I don't share. Like, what if we're married for a year, or 2 or 5, and he genuinely annoys me, to the point that I stop enjoying his company? Then what?

And you thought I was a glass-half-full kind of girl.

1 comment:

rockle said...

if it helps at all, this is pretty much what i sounded like when i was 17 days out from my wedding. i was at a point where i was all, "good night, babe. good work. sleep well. i'll most likely hate you in the morning."

never got to that point, thankfully.