Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Something new

Dear Mom,

I tried on my wedding dress tonight, hopefully for the last time before the wedding. The little cap sleeves were too tight, and since Matt is 6'2", I needed more room than that. I thought that the dress would look fine with the sleeves removed, just a tank top, but since the lady who is doing all of the alterations is doing them for $150, I didn't push it. They will be a little poofy, but oh well. It will make us laugh in 10 years.

Tomorrow I'm meeting with my friend who is making my cake. It will be Vanilla Almond with raspberry filling. She just had a daughter, the baby is 4 weeks old. I told her if it was too much, I could find someone else, but she's quite sure she wants to do it, so I'll let her. Tomorrow I also need to talk to a lady in Matt's church, she's making the pew decorations. I'd like to go see them before I agree to do all of the pews.

Aunt Marsha's invitation was returned, I had the old PO address, not the street address. Still, you'd think with it being such a small town they'd just forward it. It was obviously an invitation of some sort.

Speaking of out of town relatives, Mike and Donna are coming down. I was pleasantly surprised! Dad was, too.

Dad came down monday and Matt helped him cut down all of the trash in the back yard. After the remodel when they TORE UP the back yard to get to the sewer line I let the trash trees grow back up, so dad and Matt cleaned up. I also had him cut down the crepe myrtle tree to a crepe myrtle bush. There are now 2 large piles of limbs in front of the house, it looks like just after Ike.

I miss you. Every day I think of something else to tell you. I've been getting more and more agitated the closer I get to the wedding, and I figured out yesterday it's because I am finally understanding that you're gone. You won't be there to help me get dressed, or to watch me walk down the aisle. You won't be there to laugh with me about the women of the church, to laugh at me when I say or do something embarrassing. You won't be there the first time Matt and I have our first fight, to offer an ear and advice. I didn't ask you questions about your early marriage because I thought there would still be time.

Matt will be here soon, so I need to clean up my kitchen. It's a mess, as usual. I love you!


rockle said...

sobs and hugs.

Jolly Johnstons said...

That - that makes my heart hurt. I love the format, I find it charming and it seems to be therapeutic, but it's hard to watch your loved ones hurting. Know I'm always here when you want to talk.