Friday, October 1, 2010

Another Depressing Family Post

Update: So, it turns out that all of this animosity between my brother and I isn't coming from my brother. It's coming from my SIL. I finally got my dad to tell me what was going on, and it's my SIL. Apparently anything I have ever told Bro and SIL in the past 5 years is now fuel for the "SMurF Shouldn't Be In Charge Of The Money" discussion. And it's my dad's fault because they (mom and dad) never treated my BRO right, and they (Bro and SIL) never wanted dad's money, and that all I want from dad is his money, and because I'm BiPolar, and so terribly irresponsible with money I'll probably blow through my money within 2 years, and then I'll have to ask my BRO and SIL for money. There were more things that my dad relayed to me, but I don't remember them all. Crazy stuff. My SIL has gone off the deep end.

For the past 2 years we have gone to see the Nutcracker. It had become something of a tradition, one mom and SIL and Emma and I looked forward to. Last weekend dad asked me to get in touch with SIL and see if they wanted to go, and when. That way we could get tickets early and not have to pay so much.

I called SIL this morning, she was pretty rude on the phone, and I asked her if she still wanted to go to Nutcracker, and when. She told me it was too far away, and she didn't know, and then she hung up.

Dad called me about an hour ago, SIL had called dad and told him that he didn't need to worry about tickets to the Nutcracker for them, if they decided to go they would pay for their own tickets.

Dad called me almost in tears. I told him I was sorry, that I had tried, and that to tell me what to do to fix it and I would. I would do whatever it took to fix this. He told me that there wasn't a way to fix it, that there wasn't anything I could do to change anything. Then he asked me if they, Bro and SIL, were coming to the wedding. I told him I didn't know, that I hoped so, that I had wanted Emma to be a Flower Girl, but that I hadn't had a chance to ask her since I hadn't seen them since the funeral.

I don't know. I don't know what I said, or what I did. I don't know when I said or did it. This is breaking Dad's heart, and if he has to choose he'll choose Emma over me and Fiance. I guess I would, too. He feels the need to keep in touch with his granddaughter, and I don't begrudge him that.

Dear God, please show me the path. Give me the words that will help bridge this gap. Give us all peace, and help us get through this and come out good on the other side. Help heal broken hearts and hurt feelings. Amen.


rockle said...

oh, man. oh man oh man. good luck.

SUEB0B said...

Indeed, good luck. It sounds like she has already made up her mind about you. I hope there is an opening for peace.

rockle said...

this is so so sad because it seems like SIL is the one with issues. issues with money. in my (limited) experience, whenever someone says "it isn't about the money" then it's definitely about the money. and that sucks, because of course it should never BE about the money, but somehow it always is.

also: she seems to be treating bipolar like it's contagious. that's so unfortunate, and people like her don't help the cause of people with actual illnesses that can be controlled if people just stopped talking for two freaking seconds.

i hope things work out, even if temporarily, so that your brother and niece can be at the wedding, even if SIL doesn't attend. i will keep my fingers crossed.