Monday, August 23, 2010

This isn't my fault, people!!

A while back my dad changed his will.

He changed it and made me the executor, not my brother. My dad's estate is in 7 figures. It's cash, stocks, bonds and property.

My brother tends to be emotional with regards to his money. He has stated more than once that the US market is crap and he wants to begin investing in the European market. He's not financially savvy enough to do this, and he could lose everything pretty quickly.

He has also stated that he feels like the US isn't the best place to live anymore and wants to move to Europe when he retires, because he feels like it would be a better life.

So my dad changed the will. He needed Bro and SIL to sign the new document. They were understandably upset.

Fast forward to the next time I went home. Dad was upset because Bro and SIL were mad at him and weren't talking to him. I told him I guess I could kind of see it, and that I wished I would have been able to be there. Dad told me that no, it was good that I wasn't there.

Later he told me some of what was said. And it seems that Bro and SIL think less of me than I had originally thought. Something about I was jealous of him because they had a kid, and that I had manipulated Dad and that was why he was helping me financially, and I'm not sure what all else. I was quite noticeably upset, so dad quit telling me, just that it was good that I wasn't there.

What with mom being in the hospital and me needing to relay messages, I've had to talk to them several times. SIL has cooled considerably. She was borderline rude when I spoke with her yesterday. I asked about my niece, and she thawed a little bit, but then it was 'You need to call Bro, OK? Ok, Bye' and she hung up.

Spoke with my Bro last night, to see if he would be able to be here this morning for when the Dr.'s came in on their rounds. He was flat out rude, and ended the conversation by telling me that they couldn't be there and I would just have to take care of it on my own.

Ah. So, that's it. If dad changed the will like that, then it will now be my burden to be the primary care-taker of them.

But, why they're mad at me I dont' know. I didn't ask dad to change the will. I do think it's a good idea, but I never voiced that to either dad or bro.

I'm not going to be able to do this without Bro and SIL's help. I live 2 hours away, and that will mean that bro and sil will have to help when I'm not able to be there. The will change shouldn't affect that. But it will. It already does.


rockle said...

families are SO IRRATIONAL when it comes to money, aren't they? like, do they think you're going to keep all the money for YOURSELF?

it makes me glad sometimes that i (1) have only one kid and (2) am broke as a joke.

good luck and god bless.

Anonymous said...

That is a whopper of a situation...and I have no advice that will help. We seem to be magnets as executors to older people without any kids. The total is up to three of them.

For you just try not to get mad at them.