Monday, November 30, 2009

:(

I was cleaning out my house, I found a belated birthday card for my Grandma that I meant to send, but I must have forgotten to send it.

Some updates.

Went to the Nutcracker last night. It was beautiful. Through a rather long series of events we ended up with PRIMO seats. We were close enough we could hear their feet as they hit the stage. They were pretty expensive, which is its own drama (dad threw a FIT), but mom said she'd run interference for Monika and me. We'll see.

Now, I know this will sound greedy and all, but I hope that dad gives us money again this year. I know, he paid for all of the remodeling for the house. I know, he spent so much money on me this year. But still, a little spending money would be nice. Any tax refund I get this year will go to the car repair bill.

I get an extra paycheck in January, so I should have a little bit of $$ for the cruise, which leaves in 46 days. In other Day Off news, we have December 23rd through January 3rd off for Christmas. YAY! I should have something fun to do for New Year's this year. I don't know yet if it will be here locally with friends, or going out of town to hang with a friend I haven't seen in 10 years.

Decisions decisions decisions

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Awesome, and Goodwill

I helped put up the christmas trees at church this morning. I managed to almost break the weld on one of the metal tree bases. Cause I'm awesome like that. But it was fun, and it put me in a christmas-y mood.

I'm still trying to clean and organize the house. I cleaned and straightened my coat closet. I found Rollerblades I haven't used in probably 5 years. Those are going to the Goodwill here in town. I also found an old winding clock that I once thought I'd like to take apart and try to fix. That went into the box, too.

My dad brought (note: brought, not bought) me a cute little table and 3 chairs for my breakfast nook. So I need to clean out that room, hang the pictures, sweep the floor, and start to make it a working room.

I'm also slowly trying to clean out my extra room.

All this organizing makes me feel ready to put up a tree.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving

Wednesday I was asked what my favorite part of Thanksgiving was. I didn't have a good answer, because, in all honesty, I wasn't especially wasn't looking forward to coming home for Thanksgiving. Family and food, fights and frustration.

But, I came home. I spent part of the night with dad setting up and discussing.

Mom is sitting in her chair a little more. Sitting up on the couch a little more.

I went this morning to my Bro and SIL's house and we made the mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole (of course) and her mom made a cabbage dish and SIL's lentil salad. It was so much fun! We laughed and talked and enjoyed company. Dinner was later than we thought, and dad was thoroughly and completely flustered! But we worked through it and it was a good meal. The turkey was moist, because it had to sit an hour longer than we had intended, but moist all the same.

I played with my niece and took a short nap, and I'm going to sleep with my niece tonight, she gets so excited when Aunt spends the night with her. Tomorrow my SIL and her mother want to go shopping, SIL has never been Black Friday shopping. In LARGE city, none-the-less. We're leaving hometown about 7am, hopefully we'll get there before it becomes an OMG mess. Traffic is bound to be absolutely horrible. But, I'm not driving, so that's ok, too.

So I have to say that what I enjoyed most this thanksgiving was my family. I know, it surprised me, too.

Dear God, Thank you, for what I know you give me, and for what I don't even think about that you give me. Amen.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thankful

Today I'm thankful for friends who give up their days off to help me. I don't have a good way to repay, all I can offer is heartfelt Thanks, and a couple of meals.

Dear God, THANK YOU for friends. Amen

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

slick wood porches

So, being the graceful, athletic, coordinated woman that I am, I slipped this morning on my back porch steps. There aren't very many, I think 4. But the wood was slick and I guess those shoes don't have great tread. I had my purse on my shoulder and my laundry basket on my left side.

It happens in an instant, I understand how it happens when you're old you worry about broken bones and such.

But my left rib cage is bruised and I can't get my purse up on my shoulder. And turning my body makes me hold my breath and exhale hard when I come back.

Matt is supposed to come help me finish my fence gate tomorrow. I'm not sure I'll be much help.

Dear God, fast healing, please! Amen.

Thankful

Today I'm thankful for vacation days. Even cleaning the house and organizing is easier on a day off. Later today, the Garage!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Thankful

Today I'm thankful for Seinfeld reruns. I love Seinfeld. It's been off air for 10 years, and I still love it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Thankful

Tonight I'm thankful for acetaminophen and ibuprofen. Especially taken together to relieve pain inflicted from helping build my gate for my fence.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thankful

Tonight I'm thankful for Sushi! I love sushi!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Not-a-boyfriend.

I have a friend.

He is a pastor at a local Lutheran church. I am not a member of his church, but it is the same denomination as the one I attend.

We usually see each other once a week, sometimes just the 2 of us, sometimes in a group setting.

Last Saturday he helped my dad build my back fence. He spent roughly 8 hours with my dad working on my fence.

I like him, and we'd make a pretty good match, I think. But I can't tell if he is just clueless (always a possibility) or really isn't interested in something more than we have now.

I have been reluctant to make any moves myself. I've been burned several times in the last 3 years and I'm not very willing to put myself in the position to get burned again anytime soon.

Dear God, show me the path and I'll walk it. Point me in the right direction and I'll go there. Amen.

Thankful

Today I'm thankful for Glass Pastuer pipettes that are the right size. Now I can order them without having to pay for O/N shipping and I don't have to run around the department trying to find what I need!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hope.

I was wandering around the net and found the to The Shawshank Redemption. I love the ending.



I just thought I'd share.

Thankful

Today I'm thankful that I'm go to the gym and I'm fit and healthy.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Thankful

Today I'm thankful for my friend V. It's one of those friendships that will last. We might not talk every day, or even every week, but she's always there if I need her.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sunday thanks

Today I'm thankful for Sunday Afternoon Naps.

I love Sunday Afternoon naps. They rock!

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Fence

I would love to complain about my dad, but he was like a kid in a candy store this evening at Lowe's.

He was so excited to build this fence. He had 2 pages of numbers and figures and he discussed and considered with the helpful people at the store.

Even when we loaded his trailer with all of the goodies, he was excited and enjoying every minute of it.

How could I get mad at him?

Now he's in the kitchen cooking Chili so my friends tomorrow will have something good to eat for lunch.

He wants to get started by 8AM. Right. But I'll be up at 7:30 and have coffee made and go out and help dig post holes.

My hope for tomorrow is that he doesn't just do it, but show me and teach me how to do it. Not sure how well that will work, but I'm going to try.

Thankful

Something to be Thankful for:

My dad, who cares so much that he's a pain in my butt. But he's a good dad, and I love him. Even when he makes my life difficult.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Dr's, pens, and thanks

Went to see Dr. yesterday. Pretty sure my good mood lately hasn't just been a good mood, but a good mood. So, since 600mg of the Seroquel gives me the tremors and jerks and the 450 doesn't seem to be enough, we're trying 500mg. We'll see what comes.

In the mean time, I'm working hard on NOT biting my friend's heads off. I'm trying to practice meditation again when I get frustrated (and I have been easily frustrated lately) and deep breaths when I'm right in the middle of something and it's not going well.

And on a goofy and completely unrelated note, I found my pen that is almost out of ink. I've been careful with this pen, writing only with it, and have it mostly empty. I want to actually empty this pen! It's very exciting.



!SQUIRREL!

Next completely unrelated topic.

Since it's November and Thanksgiving is approaching and I seem to need the reminders, I'll start posting things I'm thankful for.

Let's start with: I'm thankful for a job with medical insurance.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

(sigh)

Another Update: Have an appointment with dr. tomorrow. Gonna talk about a rx change. I don't think adjusting the dose is working so well.

Update: Spoke with co-worker. Feel worse than ever. Sometimes I really really don't like myself. Going to go see psychiatrist tomorrow. Maybe a medication change will help.

Sometimes I wonder, are friends really worth the effort? Is it worth the fights and frustrations and misunderstandings? By the time I get over whatever made me mad, and I wasn't just frustrated I was pissed off, then the other person is pissed off because I was pissed off. Now I wait for the other person to stop being pissed off, I apologize and then we move on.

Is this what marriage is like? because if it is, then I think I'll just stay single and adopt a couple of kids.

I've come to realize that my short fuse is because I haven't had a significant break from work in close to a year. I took off work in April for my grandma's funeral, but that wasn't anywhere close to a vacation. So I have tried hard not to take my frustration out on my friends, but I haven't always succeeded. In fact, in recent weeks I have outright failed.

I am taking the week of Thanksgiving off and the week between Christmas and New Years and the week in January for the cruise. By February I should be good to go for several more months.

Now, I also realize that this puts some of my coworkers in a bind, because they will have to pick up the slack when I'm not here, and that sucks so they (she) might be frustrated with me for taking the time, and that makes me feel a little guilty. But they (she) can tell Dr. C that they need a break, too, and schedule around the time I'm still there.

A bit of a catch22 all around.

Oh well. Anyway, 1 week in November, 1 week in December and 1 week in January.

YAY VACATION FOR SANITY!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I thought I was being all slick...

Ok, so I have allergies. Not so bad as to disrupt my life, but a pain in the butt all the same.

I used to take claritin. worked great. Then they came out with Clarinex! That worked even BETTER! I never had stuffy runny nose or sinus headache, it just went away! Then, the terrible day came. Claritin went OTC. The idiot doctor I had thought that this also meant that Clarinex would go OTC, also. Apparently, it didn't.

I've been using Zyrtec for awhile. It works OK. I sometimes have to take a pseudofed or nasal rinse, but overall it works ok.

Zyrtec has stopped working so well, so I went with OTC Claritin. Wow, it worked pretty well! My overall stuffiness was markedly decreased. So I went to the pharmacist and asked them if the Clarinex was available, too. They said, No! Clarinex was NEVER OTC! WHAT???

So, being all slick, I called my PCP and asked her to fax in a prescription for Clarinex. She Agreed! YeAH! Effective Allergy relief for the first time in several years!

Then I got my bill from Medco, the mail order prescription place. $90 for a 3 month supply of clarinex. I can buy a 90 day supply of generic zyrtec for $35, and 3 monhts of the generic Flonase for $20.

Damn. That was short-lived joy. I get 3 months of Effective Allergy relief. Then, back to the 'It will have to do' plan.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

It could have been sooooo much worse

I got home too late on saturday to have The Talk with mom and dad. So I went with my bro and sil and niece and we trick-or-treated! A friend of my brother's lives in a nice little subdivision that is mostly circular, so some of the adults (me included) herded 7 or 8 kids around the neighborhood. Emma was shy the first couple of houses, but by the end she was leading the charges up the drive ways. She had a blast! Then we stopped and saw grandpa and grandma and hugs and kisses and visited a few more houses in my home town. By the last house, Emma says, "Do we have to go trick-or-treat again?" We took that as a sign to go home. I had promised my niece that I'd sleep with her, so I slept with her last night. She rolled and kicked and moved and talked and groaned and cried once or twice, ALL NIGHT LONG. I'm freaking Tired!

So, the timing worked well, Bro and SIL came over and we all sat down, I started with a prayer (Remember we are a family and we love each other and help us to use soft words and have open hearts). There was cursory annoyance and irritation, but once that was past, I think Dad was relieved that something is being done. He agreed that he wasn't doing such a good job cleaning, and that he had planned on paying my SIL's mother to do it, but we agreed that a professional would be better, and she could come once a week for 2 or 3 months, and then we'll address the issue again. I made a leap of faith and had a lady from a nearby town come give us an estimate to clean the house. She said $175 for the whole house, that's oiling all of the woodwork, moving furniture and cleaning under it, the whole 9 yards.

We repeated the whole thing with mom's health, and that we think she needs a home-health care nurse once a week, maybe more. He agreed to tell the doctor that they need a prescription and we'll go from there. At least the idea is on the table, and that's more than a step, that's a freaking LEAP in the right direction.

Thank you God, for the right words. Thank you for all of your blessings, for the blessing of good parents, and good children. Thank you for my brother, in spite of all of his faults, he loves mom and dad and looks out for the best for them. Amen.

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