Tuesday, November 10, 2009


Another Update: Have an appointment with dr. tomorrow. Gonna talk about a rx change. I don't think adjusting the dose is working so well.

Update: Spoke with co-worker. Feel worse than ever. Sometimes I really really don't like myself. Going to go see psychiatrist tomorrow. Maybe a medication change will help.

Sometimes I wonder, are friends really worth the effort? Is it worth the fights and frustrations and misunderstandings? By the time I get over whatever made me mad, and I wasn't just frustrated I was pissed off, then the other person is pissed off because I was pissed off. Now I wait for the other person to stop being pissed off, I apologize and then we move on.

Is this what marriage is like? because if it is, then I think I'll just stay single and adopt a couple of kids.

I've come to realize that my short fuse is because I haven't had a significant break from work in close to a year. I took off work in April for my grandma's funeral, but that wasn't anywhere close to a vacation. So I have tried hard not to take my frustration out on my friends, but I haven't always succeeded. In fact, in recent weeks I have outright failed.

I am taking the week of Thanksgiving off and the week between Christmas and New Years and the week in January for the cruise. By February I should be good to go for several more months.

Now, I also realize that this puts some of my coworkers in a bind, because they will have to pick up the slack when I'm not here, and that sucks so they (she) might be frustrated with me for taking the time, and that makes me feel a little guilty. But they (she) can tell Dr. C that they need a break, too, and schedule around the time I'm still there.

A bit of a catch22 all around.

Oh well. Anyway, 1 week in November, 1 week in December and 1 week in January.



SUEB0B said...

Vacations are a good thing!

Anonymous said...

Everybody needs a break. Plus with all you have been dealing with, a vay kay is what you need babe. Love ya bunches and will always be your friend!

Anonymous said...

I think that I ususally end of feeling disappointed after a vacation and it really doesn't seem like i get a benefit from the time away...but I need professional help.

rockle said...

i could really use a vacation. do you have a big suitcase? i promise not to eat too much if you take me on the cruise (not that they will notice anyway, what with all the buffets). really. pinky swear.