Friday, October 30, 2009

Here's another depressing-ass family post

It has become apparent lately that my parents are not taking care of themselves very well anymore. Dad has let the house get way past dirty and is venturing into unhealthy.

My mom isn't taking good care of her personal hygiene, she doesn't always remember deodorant and while she washes, it must be a cursory wash, not a good scrubbing. She has a sore on her neck where the trach collar is rubbing a sore spot.

I must go home tomorrow with my aggressive, undiagnosed Bi-polar brother and his wife and we all, mom dad, bro, sil and me, have to sit down and talk about this.

Yeah, that's going to go so well. Dad, you can't clean the house, we're going to bring strangers into the house to clean it. Mom, you aren't taking care of yourself good enough, dad isn't noticing, we're going to bring strangers into the house to help bathe you.

Shit. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I want to wake up in the morning and have it all be ok. it's not supposed to be like this. I shouldn't be having to do this when they're only 60. I'm only 34, this is shit that's supposed to happen when I'm in my 40's. I'm not equipped to handle this right now. How do I walk in and start to tear my family apart?

I keep falling apart. I don't know how I'll even manage the drive. I don't know how to do this. How do I do this??

Dear God, give me the words because I don't have ANY IDEA how the hell do to this.


rockle said...

you do it the way we will have all done it, or will do it someday: one thing at a time, one day at a time. it's not easy, but it's necessary, unfortunately. you'll get through it. it might get ugly, and definitely uncomfortable, but you'll make it through.

keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo.

NGS said...

I'm sorry you are going through all of this. Good luck to you and your family and I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.