Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Envy, regret and age

Last night at my gym class there was a mother/daughter combo who have started coming.

The mother is close to my age, maybe a little older. Out of shape, but not overweight. Well, not obviously so.

The daughter is mid teens. She wasn't wearing a bra. And she didn't need one. She had a little tiny waist. Not much coordination.

I remember when I didn't need a bra. I could wear a size 0 jean. I don't envy her youth. I don't envy the hard lessons she has yet to learn. I don't envy the broken hearts she hasn't had yet. I do envy the lack of bra and tiny waist. I envy the cute tops she can still pull off. I envy the realization that her entire life is before her, and she can choose whichever path she wants.

I regret the extra 40 pounds, but not the years it has taken me to get them. I regret some of the choices I've made, but I don't regret the big ones. And I still say that I when I get old, I want to regret the chances I've taken, not the ones I was scared to.

But I REALLY envy the being able to not wear a bra. I REALLY REALLY envy that.

1 comment:

rockle said...

ME TOO. (i also miss that short phase i went through in high school when NOT wearing a bra was a choice i made in the interest of sexual politcs, and not general lassitude and slovenliness.)