Thursday, July 30, 2009


So, I'm having side effects from the bi-polar medication. At least, that's what the spasms and tremors are. Right now they're annoying, but not intrusive in my life. I'll go back in 2 months and see where we are. If they get worse I may have to change the medication, which would be bad.

If I have change the medication, I won't be back to normal and stable for 7 or 8 weeks, and that assumes we hit the correct dose early on.

The dizzy spells are probably from a physical flaw in my inner ear, the hairs in the labrinth part of the inner ear aren't set quite right. I have a physical therapy to try at home, if that doesn't help I'll be referred to an ENT and see what they can do.

Also, I took a shower for the first time in my brand new bathtub. I like my shower head I picked out, and the hot water came in fast enough.

So, the afternoon was an all-around success.

The morning? not as much, but I'll post that another day.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My appointment with the neurologist is tomorrow.

I'm having trouble talking myself into taking my pills and going to sleep.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Friday Trivia!

It's time for Trivia Friday! Go HERE for the 411 and rules.

1. Three bald (or mostly bald) guys: Patrick ___________ (jean luke piccard), Vin (ven? van?) Diesel, Sean Connery

2. Three female celebrities who were known for their hairdos: Dolly Parton, Lady Godiva, Brittany Spears (lack of hairdo)

3. Three actors known (or reputed to be) very hairy: Burt Reynolds?

4. Three famous haircuts: Mullet, Mohawk, Beehive

5. Two actresses known for their wig lines: Miley Cyrus?

6. Two male celebrities known for their facial hair: Tom Selleck, Walter Cronckrite

7. Two women with weaves:

8. Two really awesome TV moments involving hair pulling or wig removal: !!! Seinfeld! Elaine pulls off George's toupee, and I know there is a carol burnett skit where they pull someone's hair off.

I guess I don't know any more about hairy celebrities than I did about music trivia.

Oh well. I hope I'll think of more before Monday.

Thursday, July 23, 2009


Ok, so already this isn't a great day anyway.

I got the shakes half way through the day, it took a couple of hours to go away completely.

Just now, something came in through the back door. Lumpy went CRAZY!!!! hissing and screaming. The cat door was set to shut behind them as they came them.

It wasn't a cat.

It was a large freaking raccoon.

It scrabbled at the door, I tried to get close enough to it to get the door open for it, but it managed to grab under the flap and get out of the house.

My hands, body, heart is shaking again.

Somewhere is the back of my mind I'm thinking, 'If I have a breakdown, all of this will just have to take care of itself.'

I think I need to go see my psychiatrist.

I'm so tired

I don't like confrontation.

I'm willing to fight battles that need to be fought, but I don't like fighting someone else's battle.

The construction ran over bid...surprise!

The garage and bath are both really close, under $500 for each project.

But the kitchen.

I'm between Isaac and Dad, the 2 money men, one from each side.

And I'm trying to run interference.

If I could go back 3 months, I would have told dad thanks, but no thanks. I didn't want this burden, I thought dad would be the one running the money interference. This is making my stomach hurt.

What's worse, this makes me look quite incompetent in my dad's eyes. And I had just sort of gotten to where he didn't think that of me.

As nice as the house looks, right now I just want it to be over with. It doesn't make me happy, it makes my stomach hurt. It makes me cringe, it makes me cry, it makes me just unhappy. That's terrible, because it looks gorgeous. But I don't even want to use it, because right now all it's just a large painful thing in my life.


I am having my appliances delivered on Friday Evening!

The construction manager will come next week and hook up the lines for the ice maker and dish washer.

My house is mine again!!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Rather pissed off at work

So, 2 weeks ago it became clear that I would begin to lose my vacation time because I had accrued too much time.

I told my boss that I would like to take 2 days off, last week thursday and friday. He threw a fit! Imagine, my taking 2 days off! Right when we had just gotten word that we are approved to do animal work!

So, I worked my ass off last monday, tuesday and wednesday, so that when I left the lab on wednesday to go pick up my friend at the airport, I had done everything possible to prepare for the animal challenge that we would be doing monday morning.

When I left town thursday morning, there was only 1 thing I needed to call and have taken care of before monday. Now, that's pretty impressive when you consider what all I needed to coordinate.

I got back sunday evening, had a great time (Ate Beignet's, drank coffee, drank tequila, got my tarot cards read, bought a pretty picture and 2 pretty masks).

We got to the airport in time, again, pretty impressive, and I waved my girlfriend goodbye at the security gate.

I got to work monday morning, the animal challenge went reasonably well, only a couple of minor glitches considering that we haven't done it for 10 months.

I find out monday that both Jian and Tanya, who are both required to be present for animal challenges, are both taking ALL OF NEXT WEEK OFF. Yes, all 5 days! And Dr. C has said nothing. NOTHING. I got my butt chewed for several hours because i dared to take 2 days, but they can take 5 days, 1 week, and get NOTHING???

I couldn't figure out why I was in such a bad mood tuesday. I finally figured it out, I was PISSED!

I WILL be taking my vacation day each month, and I will be taking 1 sick day each month, too.

I've also gone in late tuesday and wednesday, and I'll go in late tomorrow, and probably friday, too.

2 years ago

Friday is my 2 year blogaversity, I made my first post on July 24, 2007.

I've been thinking about this lately.

Where was I two years ago?

I already had the house, I bought it in october 06. Mom and dad had helped me paint the house in spring 07.

It was right about 2 years ago that mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. We've gone from Small Regional hospital, to Long term care hospital, back to Small Regional hospital, now to Large Cancer Hospital, and finally, we are at a 'Level we can live with'. We can begin to pick up where we left off 2 years ago. Prayerfully with the active and vibrant woman I remember.

I wasn't yet friends with Michelle. I was friends, but rather distant kind of friends with, Katie and Brett and they're very small daughter, and jennifer, and ted. We were still doing the 'Bible study', and it was actually still a bible study, not just a gathering of friends eating a meal together.

I had just picked up the Obnoxious Grad Student, and she was making my life hell.*

I had lost Sinatra by the time I started this blog, and I had already been strong-armed into taking my Annie and Puffalump, who would eventually come to be loved as 'mine'. I had also already taken in Howler, and was remembering what it was like to live with a kitten.

I was single, not dating anyone, Chuck had broken up with me in april 07, and I was between men. It wouldn't be until July 08 that I started dating the Ex. wow, I didn't realize that it had been that long. damn, I really have been single most of my life. That's just sad.

I dont' think I had started at the gym yet, I started that in 08 sometime.

*She's gone now!! Not from campus, but from my lab! Yippee!*

Friday, July 10, 2009

Does 2 days off work count as a vacation?

I'm about to start losing vacation days, I'm reaching my maximum accrual limit, and extra hours are rolled over into sick time. Which sucks, because when you leave or retire, you don't get paid for sick leave that you have accrued.

As an aside, my dad worked for the Large City Police Department, and when he started there wasn't a limit on accruals, and they paid sick leave, so my dad didn't work for a year, they paid him out of sick leave and vacation time, and THEN he retired. Nice.

Anyway, I decided to take next thursday and friday off, I called a dear friend of mine, and we are going to New Orleans next week. I'm very excited.

Now, we just got our clearance to start our animal again, so my boss is chomping at the bit to get started doing experiments again.

Let's look at my initial schedule next week:

Monday: Dr. appointment for mom, starting at 6:45, going until I don't know when, I might or might not make it into work
Tuesday: Neuro appointment at 2:30 in the afternoon, further north, much closer to Large City than I am, which means that I would need at least a half day to accomplish this.
Wednesday: work
Thursday and friday: New Orleans.

I didn't think I would push my boss that far, so I rescheduled the neuro appointment, and will try very hard to get to work in the afternoon, I will work all out tuesday and wednesday, and be gone! gone! thursday and friday.

I also missed a dentist's appointment this week.

I rescheduled both for the 29th. I'll be gone all day from work, dentist in the morning, neuro in the afternoon. And besides, there is a part of me that really doesn't want to go. I really don't want to know.

I think I might try to find someone who can go with me. Because I'm a little scared. But not my parents. Not yet. I don't want to worry them unnecessarily. If it's not bad news, then no big deal. If it is, then I'll update them then.

Friday post

It's really weird. I have things to write about. I have things happening to me that are funny, difficult, heartening, irritating, etc etc.

But I finally realized what it is.

And this is really stupid.

But, my house isn't done. My cave is in disarray. And apparently, when my refuge is no longer a safe place, parts of my brain stop working.

The only similarity I can use is when I work with animals.

When I work with animals, I turn off the emotional part of my brain. I can do what I need to do, but I distance my heart, my compassion, my emotions from what my hands and brain are doing.

Apparently, when everything is in bedlam, I shut off part of my personality. I'm not sure what part of my being that I'm turning off, but whatever it is contains the part of me that blogs. I also have a hard time reading other people's blogs.

Thus, I will post small things occasionally, but I hope to be back once my house is done and my life begins to return to some semblance of normal.

Dear God, for awhile there I was praying for peace. I guess you're trying to teach me how to be peaceful when life around me isn't? I don't like this lesson any more than I did the patience or strength lessons. I'm very patient and very strong. I'm not sure I need any more peace. Amen.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Phone rings one more time, one last email is received...

*Woman running crazily from the building, pulling her hair out in clumps, screaming and babbling incoherently*


Friday, July 3, 2009

Good News, all the way around

Mom: We were at her oncologist's today, there is no fluid in her lungs, her heart is in great shape, and the cancer in her lungs is very responsive to a drug. She has to take 1 pill, probably the rest of her life. She will never be in remission, she will always have it, but it will be well maintained. They don't want to see her for 3 months.

My job: finally finally finally FINALLY our animal lab is open again. The lab that I do my primary work in, the one that actually pays my paycheck, has finally been approved by the Governmental Agencies to begin our work.

My friend: My friend who was home on bedrest is doing much better now, and in fact she is cleared to go back to work on monday. They will have their first child home with them again shortly.

Myself: I had the massage yesterday, and I feel much better. I slept very well last night. With mom's and work's good news, I should sleep well tonight. I will go visit my family tomorrow, spend time with my niece, and come home sunday.

OH!! Forgot (that says something). ex texted me today, Did I want to do something today? I deleted it. yay me!

Dear God, thank you for some good new! Amen

Gave in to temptation

Yesterday afternoon I gave in and stopped on the way home from the hospital.

I walked into a Massage franchise and got a massage. 1 1/2 hours for $57.

My shoulders, back and rear end are so sore, but OMG do I feel better. I slept hard and sound last night. I'm calm and peaceful this morning. My mind is a ease.

I may have to do this again in a couple of weeks.