Thursday, June 18, 2009

{explosion} NOW WHAT?!?!?

I sent this as an email to a friend, but it hightlighted what's been going on in my life pretty well, so I'm posting it here. I will update on the neuro appointment.

It's just been a hard time lately.

I've been having tremors and muscle spasms for awhile now, but they're getting more frequent and severe, so I had an appointment with neurology on Monday, but my brother called last night and the fluid they took from mom's lungs 3 weeks ago is showing something, but the doctor said it's not something he will discuss over the phone, so instead of the neurology appt I'm going in with the family to talk with mom's oncologist. That pushed my neuro appointment until middle of July.

My friend Katie is having pre-term labor and they are having a hard time getting it under control. She's 5 months, which is viable, but that's still way too early to deliver. They have a 2 1/2 year old that I'm helping take care of. Katie's parents have finally been called, so that's not on me, but I still worry.

My kitchen and bathroom are being updated, so the house is in total chaos. I had to completely empty the kitchen and bath, which is all in my second bedroom, and the garage, which I thought would be organized by now, isn't. They have been turning off the AC during the day, and turning it on at 5pm when they leave, when the house is 95, and the coils (? I think that) froze. They had to bring an AC guy out, but they had to leave the fan running until it all thawed, so last night I had all the windows open and fans on, which should have been enough, but the fan for the AC unit had to be on, so it was pumping hot air into the house faster than it could cool it down.

Tuesday night when I came home all of the smoke detectors were alarming and the Carbon Monoxide detector was screaming. I threw all the breakers in the house and managed to shut down the smoke detectors, but I had to rip the battery out of the CO monitor. When I plugged it back in it reset, so I'm thinking just a low battery? Not sure on that one.

I have picked out the bathroom floor tile and tub surround tile, the formica for the kitchen counters and the tile for the kitchen nook. I still have to pick out the sink/toilet/tub color, a vanity, the kitchen sink, get a new cat door and look for an interior door that matches the ones I already have. I still need to pick the paint color for the kitchen, nook, and bathroom.

I don't want to talk about work right now.

All I do is put out fires, and I'm running out of water. I can't process anything else. My brain is full to bursting, and I start my period in 3 days.

We have a random holiday tomorrow, Emancipation Day, instead of getting a 3 day weekend for 4th of July. My friend Michelle and I are going to the a water park here in our town tomorrow. Should be fun. Fresh air, sunshine and water should put me in a little better mood. At least, that's my hope.

Dear God, I don't think I can handle very much more right now. Keep my family and friends safe and healthy, and keep me sane. That last one wasn't a joke. If there was any time in my life that I needed my sanity, it's now. Amen.


NGS said...

Awww...sweetie. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

rockle said...

i don't ever say this lightly, so: we'll be including you in bedtime prayers. (and i'll even ask saint dymphna for some intercession on your behalf -- she and i are thisclose.)