Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A little of each emotion...

I would be just fine if I would just stop talking to people.  Every time I have to tell someone, I cry.  Every time someone tells me how sorry they are, I cry.  Every time someone hugs me, I cry.

As long as I don't talk about it, or think about it, or remember it, I'm fine.

I guess life doesn't work that way, does it?

BTW, my brother is an ASS.  He got all upset at me because I posted it on my Facebook page.  I have facebook friends who are HIS friends, and when I posted it, he got a phone call, and then he was all upset because it wasn't anyone else's business,  why did I feel the need to post it to the world, why did everyone have to know everyone else's business, why did I have to tell EVERYONE??

So, I deleted the update.  I found myself apologizing for telling my friends this hard news.  And that upset me.  Some of my close friends are on facebook.  Some are distant, some are just acquaintances, but some are my close friends.  It didn't dawn on me that it would be a bad thing.  It was nice to read the words and feel the support, even if it did make me cry.

The funeral is set for May 2.  They were supposed to start tearing down my garage on May 4. If I'm going to be in Illinois until the 5th, my garage has to be empty before I leave.  I'm trying to get the start date pushed to May 6 or 7.  Dad and I both agree that he doesn't need to be here for the tear down.  

AND, the cherry on top of today, my friends who were pregnant lost their little one.  She was only 14-15 weeks along, but still, they knew they were pregnant, and then she wasn't any more.

Too much loss.  Too much loss in too little time.


SUEB0B said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. Give your brother a dope slap upside the head for me, ok?

rockle said...

oh, man, siblings really suck sometimes, don't they? i am sorry that you feel like you need to temper your grief to accommodate someone else's ... issues. i don't know your brother, but i'll send him a flaming bag of poo in the mail if you want.

Jolly Johnstons said...

Yeah, a sucky day all around. Just ignore your brother, you have every right to feel sad and tell others what happened. We're here if you need a hug, shoulder to cry on, a distraction. Just call. Love you.