Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Yes, but it's a LIE

I recently received this forward from my dad...he's late to the internet thing so I get all the goofy forwards that come his way.

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

This is the email that links Alexander Fleming, of the penicillin discovery fame, to Winston Churchill.

This forward is an urban legend. Snopes has a very good explanation for why this is false, and does an admirable job of giving a good bio of both Fleming and Churchill.

My aunt sent me back this email:

Hi, SMurF. It may not be true, but it's a good story.

Yes, but it ISNT true. It's a lie that is propogated. There is no basis in fact AT ALL. It's just a crappy forward. Creative, for whoever wrote it initially did an excellent job, but a lie all the same.

By its very definition, NOT A GOOD STORY.

No wonder my family doesn't know what to make of me.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I think this was the last one.

I wrote this Sunday evening, and other than being a little melodramatic, the feelings and thoughts still hold true.  I'm still not interested in dating right now, but probably in a year or so I'll be ready again.  It just takes awhile to get back in the saddle.

So I'm leaving this as I wrote it.  Don't judge too harshly, this dating business sucks ass.

A little background:

The last relationship I had was a long-distance one.  It worked pretty well, for awhile anyway.  He lived in Dallas.  He flew me in to see in every 3-5 weeks.  We talked often on the phone.  I'm still not sure exactly what went wrong, but he said he'd come visit me.  7 weeks later I asked in, 'So, is this your way of trying to break up with me?'.  

'Yeah, I was going for the long slow death.'

We never spoke again.  I called him once and left a message a couple of months later, mom had just been diagnosed with cancer and I needed a boyfriend-type person to talk to.  He never returned my call.

I told my friend Ronika that I only had a few more relationships in me, that it was too hard, I put too much of myself into them, and I never got much of a return.

Turns out, I had one relationship left in me.

Ex is once again ex.  SURPRISE!!!  This time I didn't just modify his phone number, making it harder to get to him.  This time I erased his number.

I don't think I have another one in me.  It's so hard, I invest so much and I get NOTHING in return.

I don't even have any tears.  I'm sure I will, one of these days I'll have a hard day and when I'm weak, it will hit me hard.  But right now, tonight? nothing.  Just resigned acceptance.  And the question: What the HELL???

Dear Lord, WHAT THE HELL????????  Amen.

Grandma's cookbook

I have had a project for a couple of years now.

My grandmother gave me an OLD cookbook, from the 30's or 40's, when her mother got her first wood-burning stove. It is crumbling, falling apart in my hands. I wanted to preserve the recipes, so for the last few years I have been copying the recipes into Microsoft Word. I'm toward the end, I only have about 4 or 5 pages left, which is good, because if it was falling apart 4 years ago, it is disintegrating now. Every time I pick it up it looses bits of paper.

I started again last night after probably a 6 or 7 month break.

I like what the book tells about my great-grandmother. She, like me, abused the pages she loved. You can tell which recipes she liked by the spills, rips and folded pages. I have completely lost 1 page, front and back, of vegetable recipes, and 1 page of cake recipes. You can also tell which pages she probably never used, they are clean and easy to read.

I only have 4 or 5 more pages of actual recipes, but at the end, probaly 20 or 25 pages, are the names and locations of the submitters to this cook book and testimonials about this cook book. I'm going to try to get that into the computer as well, because these are real women who cooked and cared for their families. These women had children and husbands, mothers and fathers. They had joy and sorrow, love and loss, and it feels like I'm reaching out to the past and briefly touching their lives. It feels as important to me to include the names and locations of these women as it is to preserve their recipes.

Last night as I was finished, I was poking around and found the total number of words, 40,000. And I'm not done yet. That's a LOT of words. No wonder it's taken me 4 years.

Plus, on a slightly avaricious note, I think I could probably get this published, and the names and locations of the submitters and testimonials would probably increase the population of people who would buy it.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Environmental Health and Safety Nightmare

Scientist(link to MSN article) accidentally injects Ebola into finger.

BERLIN - It's a nightmare scenario worthy of a sci-fi movie script: A scientist accidentally pricks her finger with a needle used to inject the deadly Ebola virus into lab mice.

But in this case, it really happened — to an unidentified 45-year-old woman in Germany.
Within hours of the accident on March 12, several of the scientist's colleagues held a trans-Atlantic telephone conference to map out a way to save her life.

Within 24 hours, an experimental vaccine — never before tried on humans — was on its way to Germany from a lab in Canada.

Within 40 hours, the at-risk scientist was injected with the vaccine.
So far, so good. If the woman is still healthy on April 2, she can consider herself safe.

It's not a 100-percent certainty the researcher was actually infected with Ebola.
If she doesn't become infected, scientists may not know if it was the vaccine, or luck.


Why do we go to the elevator and push an already lit button? It's lit. The elevator is coming. It knows it needs to stop on our floor. There's no need to push it again. There's no need to push it 5 or 6 times in a row. That won't make the elevator come any faster. All it really does is frustrate us because it's not coming any faster.

I do this too. I push an already lit button, as if it will think, "OH!! SMurF pushed the button! I'd better hurry!"

So I make a decided, concerted, difficult decision to not push the button again. It's hard. It's an effort to stop myself. I want to push it. You know, just in case.

~:-O (light bulb over head)

Last night when I went to take my nightly regiment of pills, I found 2 little blue pills sitting on the counter. Those are my mood stabilizers, Lamictal. Somehow I missed those 2 pills on wednesday night. And I had one of those great AHA! revelations.

The last 2 times I drank anything alcoholic, circumstances were such that I didn't get to take my pills. The first of these events was Mardi Gras, were I admittedly drank too much alcohol. When I got home, I laid down on my couch and forgot to take my pills. I was MISERABLE the next day. But it was more than just a hangover. I've had my share of hangovers, and this was not a typical hangover. I was lightheaded, dizzy, nauseous, and EVERYTHING tasted bad. That's not a normal hangover for me, usually Dr. Pepper and french fries taste good to me when I have a hangover.

The second time, I only had 1 glass of wine, and I didn't get enough sleep, so I attributed the dizzy/lightheaded/bad taste to too little sleep with a touch of hangover. But still, the hangover lasted WAY too long for one glass of wine and too little sleep.

So now I know. I feel much better for having an answer. At least now I know the reason for the feeling like crap.

But I'm going to keep the neurology appointment, because the dizzy spells and earaches have been getting worse, and more often. And they're not related to skipped pills.

Dear God, thank you for an answer. Thank you for mood stabilizing medications, doctors, nurses, insurance, and enough money for me to pay for all of those things. Amen.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I found a gray hair

I was brushing my hair last night, I found a gray hair.  I don't have a husband, kids, or immediate family to drive me nuts, and I have a gray hair.

So, I woke up this morning, and I didn't feel great, but I went to work anyway.

While there I got worse, light headed, dizzy, my mouth tasted like metal, but I was already at work, and I already had an appointment with the psychiatrist in the afternoon, so I stuck it out.

About noon, I was feeling pretty rough, so I gave in and made an appointment to see someone.

Side Note: Usually I go to the Int Med dept, which before Ike was a very nice department.  Today, I went to Family Med.  Not nearly so nice a department.  And the nurse? very nice man, but his english was awful.  I'm sure that's helpful in the fam med where you get young families that don't speak such good english, but I could hardly understand HIM.

Where was I?  Oh, yeah, gave in and went to the appointment.  What are my symptoms?  Dizzy, light-headed, nauseous, didn't feel well, nasty taste in my mouth...Can anyone else see guess the next question?

No?  Me either.

"Is it possible that you could be pregnant?"  [jaw dropping dramatically to the floor].

Oh Crap.  I guess I could be.

Hi Ex!  You know that one last time??  After I stopped the pill?  Because I was tired of taking MORE PILLS??

Yeah, if you've never been on the waiting end of a pregnancy test, it's a LLLOOOOONNNNNGGGG 5 minutes.

No, not pregnant.  Thank You!

And the doctors?  They don't come INTO the room giving you the results, when they start talking, they just assume that you know the answer.  So 2 minutes in you say, "So Am I Pregnant???"

And he says, Oh!  No, you're not.  LIKE ITS NOTHING.

So anyway, I don't have anything that's immediately worrisome, but I've been referred to neurology.  There wasn't any real explanation for the dizzy and lightheadedness, and when I sat and thought hard about it, I've been getting the dizzy spells for awhile now, several months.  They are bad sometimes, and getting more often.  I guess it's a good thing that I went.

Dear God, NOT FUNNY.   Amen.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Matchstick Art

Oh. My. Gosh! This is Hogwarts made out of matchsticks.

"Artist Patrick Acton painstakingly used over 600,000 matchsticks to recreate Hogwarts School of Witchcraft."

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

How COOL!!

This was linked from Knot All That

This is an AWESOME task. I don't have that imagination, or that much determination.

Monday, March 23, 2009

I am in such a good mood today. Yesterday I worked outside in my yard for the first time in a LONG time. Mom was sick in the fall, and I just didn't put any energy into the front flower bed.

But yesterday I went to Home Depot, I bought 2 six-packs of annuals, 2 daises, 2 Gardenias, plus rose and flower fertilizer and weed killer and yard fertilizer. I spent a small fortune, but I still had a rather large gift card from earlier this year (or maybe late last year, I'm not sure) from donations to our church after Ike, so I used that. I'm not sure which church it was that sent that one, but I offered a prayer of thanks for them. My friend Katie also gave me 2 rose bushes, one pink and one dark red. I'm not much of a rose gardener, but I'll give these a shot.

Then I went to our local recycling center and got 2 bags of mulch and 2 bags of really nice compost. The 2 bags of mulch were easy, I filled them about 2/3 full and put them into my car. Then I loaded 2 bags of the compost about 1/2 full, and they were SO HEAVY, I had to empty them to about 1/3 full and then I heaved them into the car. I was amazed how dense this stuff was. I went home, broke the ground with a shovel, mixed in the compost, planted and planted and planted, then mulched. And then, since it was only 5, I raked half of my yard. It filled 2 1/2 bags with leaves. Dead dry crumbling oak leaves. I really should have raked late in the fall, rather than early in the spring.

If my back and shoulders can take it, I'll finish raking the yard this afternoon. Then, a quick fertilizer, and wait for the rain tomorrow. I forget how much I like to work in my yard. It's nice, and I like that I can see how pretty it is when I'm done.

I'm always in a better mood when I can spend some time in the sun. Fresh air and Sunshine always put me in a better mood. Plus, I sleep well, and that's good, too. Drug-free sleep is always best.

Dear God, thank you for flowers in the spring, warm sunshine on my back, my own cute little house, a strong body to work, and good health to WANT to work. Amen.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Me?? Narcissistic??

Some months back, while I was still playing rather often on myspace, I did a quiz: What's your personality disorder?

Now, since I'm bi-polar, I totally expected that to be the high scorer. Turns out, that was the second high score. The highest? Narcissistic.

No Way! I thought. I'm totally not Narcissistic! (as I write my blog, about my life, and my friends, and what happens TO me and AROUND me, and how it Affects Me.

But then, I started to pay attention to myself (...I know, the irony), and I noticed that I am more focused on myself than I would like to admit. In a conversation, sometimes I try to take center stage, even when I don't mean to, or sometimes even when I don't want to.

I have become bad at interrupting people. I try to see myself as others see me, not as I see myself, but even that doesn't always work. I am bad about waiting for someone to do something for me before I do something for them. I'm working especially hard on that one, because it makes me feel bad about myself and about my actions, which I should be able to control. Right?

I get jealous of things other people have, and I know that this is part of human nature, that we are sinful in this flesh, but I still don't like that part of my personality. I don't want to judge my life by someone elses life. I will always either find mine lacking, which will only depress me unnecessarily, or I will feel superior, which leads to pride in something that I have very little control over.

Dear God, please give me peace (I pray for this a lot) with who I am and what I have. Help me to focus more outside of myself. When I begin to look too far inward, show me the way out. Thank you for friends who are patient with me and like me, and who help me become a better friend. Amen

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


I was just on the phone to my clinic, the nurse practioner that was with my doctor is gone due to Ike. That's bad, because I like the NP more than I liked my primary.

So, I left a message that the nurse or NP should call me back, I want to try to get a refill of my Flonase, preferably without an exam to go with it. I doubt it, but nothing tried, nothing gained.

As receptionist/secretary/phone person was about to hang up, she told me, "Ok, I put this in to have the nurse call you back. Hopefully someone will call you back today."

Hopefully? Are you kidding? Hopefully???

That's just sad.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

All things work for the Good...

As I got out of my car yesterday morning, I heard a very distinctive ssssssttttssssssssstttttt coming from my rear driver tire. crap. So I knew that when I went out at the end of the day I would have a flat tire. My friend Michelle graciously helped me change the tire. The lot was almost empty, and the campus cops "Don't help change tires..."

I called Firestone, where I have a Firestone card, and a $20 coupon, to have the flat fixed. Also, since I was the only one there, I asked for an oil change.

They closed at 7, Michelle and I got there at 6:30, we were going to go eat when they were done, because I didn't think we'd be able to get back by 7pm. First, they chose the fix the flat. Only, my spare tire was apparently the only good tire left on my car. The others were pretty worn, not bald yet, but definitely heading that direction, and one of my tires was dry-rotting. It was probably God's grace and blind luck that I hadn't blown that tire out on the freeway.

I had to buy 4 new tires, mid grade, not the cheapest, but not the $100/tire set, either.

THEN, they decided to do the oil change. Except they didn't have the correct oil filter for my car. It's now 7:15. They go to O'Reilly's for the correct filter, and by 7:45 they were done with my oil change. By the time I pay my bill and leave, it is 8:00. PM.

By the time I was done, my oil change and flat tire fix cost me $350.


And, BTW, No one ever told me I need 4 identical tires on my car. I know when to get an oil change, when to change my transmission fluid, when to have the brakes checked out, when I need an alignment, how to determine my gas mileage, who to go to to check the Check Engine light is on, and a multitude of other things relating to my car, but I SWEAR, no one ever told me that the car needs 4 matching tires. I just figured, as long as they were all about the same grade, that it was all good. And apparently, Subaru's are especially sensitive to mismatched tires.


Dear God, thank you for givine me a flat tire, so that my crappy tires didn't blow out while I was going 70mph down the freeway in Large City Traffic. Amen.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

It Wasn't a chew toy.

This evening I was sitting on the couch.  Howler was gently poking his paw under the couch.  I decided to help him.  I reached under the couch and pulled a small gray mouse.

I thought it was one of the stuffed mice I had for them.

It. Was. Not.

It was a very dead, very dessicated mouse.  I'm guessing that he brought it into the house already dead.  Though, I never smelled dead/decaying mouse in the house.

Dear God, please let have already been dead when he brought it in.  Amen.

Friday, March 13, 2009


In my primary building, there are 40 stairs between the first floor and the second floor, and 30 stairs between all other floors. I'm on the 3rd floor, so I walk up 70 stairs to get to my floor.
There are actually 4 flights of stairs between 2 and 3 and all upper floors, there is access to a maintenance half-floor, so the stairs are a pretty tight spiral to the right. They make me nauseous. I have to walk on the outside of the spiral, and keep my eyes on the wall.

In the other building I work in, there are 24 stairs between 1 and 2, 25 between 2 and 3, and 26 between 3 and 4. I work on 4th floor, so I walk up 75 stairs to get to my floor. This is a single turn to the left, with 1 landing. I can walk up and down these stairs, and never get dizzy or nauseous.



As you may have noticed from some of my most recent posts, I seem to have some sort of bloggers block. I can't seem to get the words to come out right. I write them, and I delete them. I rewrite them. I redelete them.

I actually have something to write about, but I know I will get a certain amount of grief from 1 or 2 of my RL friends, so I haven't posted it. And it a perfect world, I'd post it anyway, and not worry about what anyone else thinks about it. But alas, this is not a perfect world.

So I may take a couple of days off, to see if the blog-block will pass.

In the mean time, everyone have a great day, nice weekend, and peace from Above.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

a cop out

I didn't feel like writing, so I'm opting out with this video. I like it.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

speechless tuesday

Some things in this world leave me speechless.

THIS is one of them, pictures from Pripyat, where Chernobyl workers lived.

Monday, March 9, 2009

I'm thinking of buying a pack of These

Just because, sometimes they would come in handy.

On another random thought, I get tired of trying to translate broken english into something I understand. This is especially hard when you are dealing with someone who is chinese or japanese, though thai and Vietnamese can be hard, too.

WAIT! Let me clarify. I get tired of people who refuse to practice english, and rely on my ability to try to understand their broken and disconnected words to get their point across. If you're trying, if you're practicing, I am infinitely patient! But, when the only time they speak english is when their trying to tell me something complicated about science, I get frustrated very easily.

Ok, enough random for today.

mmmm relaxing...

I think I have expressed here in the past that I get my legs waxed. I like getting my legs waxed, if only because I'm lazy and I HATE shaving my legs. Like, I HATE shaving my legs. In the winter time I just stop, because I'm always wearing pants and I HATE shaving my legs.

So, when I discovered waxing, I was understandably excited about the idea of waxing, and then not having to worry about them for weeks at a time.

However, I'm also cheap, and the cheapest I could find was $65-70, and that was just for a half leg (knees and down). After several years of occasionally splurging on this, I started looking around, seeing if anything nearby was cheaper.

Imagine my surprise when I found that the local high-end spa cost only $45 for a half-leg! YEAH! And then, a friend told me that if you were local, you got a 10% discount.

OMG! I just got a leg wax for $36!!!!! I was so excited that I left the lady a $10 tip. I was going to going to give her $5, but I was feeling generous.

I have friends, friends who have pushed a child through their girl bits, tell me, "Oh! That would hurt!". ???? You pushed a child THROUGH YOUR GIRL BITS!! How could a leg was even compare? AND, I discovered today, that I kind of like the way it feels. It makes my legs smooth and pretty for 2 weeks, and when the hair grows back in it is smooth and fine and light blonde. Also, the more you wax, the less hair you have, which appeals both to my HATRED of shaving, and my cheap nature.

For $40, I am totally devoted to leg waxing. I can do my arm pits and bikini line at home.

Friday, March 6, 2009

A stroll around campus :)

I had to walk to our campus police office this afternoon. It was such a hardship.

It's about 75, clear blue sky, just a few very high thin clouds, a little cool in the shade, but perfect in the sun.

It's about a 7 minute walk (that took me 10 minutes) about 1/3 of a mile.

Gosh, it was so hard. I hate when I have to take a walk around campus when it's so nice out.

Hurry up, Spring!

Thursday, March 5, 2009


I love to read. I like lots of different kinds of books, and over the years I've made several genre's my favorites.

But lately, and I'll call lately the last 5 years or so, I've noticed that my range is shrinking.

Specifically, after a hard or traumatic time, I'll pick up a book and read it over and over and over (repeat many times). To the point that I can skip 3 chapters, because I don't like what happened, so I skip to the parts I like. Now, I read the Harry Potter series over Ike. They are long books and it takes me awhile to get through them, so it was a good choice. But I seem to be stuck. And not on the series, either. I'm stuck on a single book.

When life was hard before I moved into my house, with all of the Mike/Michelle drama going on, I had one book that I read until the front and back covers fell off. I still have the book. I should probably buy a new one, that one looks pretty bad.  I still pick it up once in awhile.  And I still skip to the parts I like best.

After Chuck broke up with me I read the Janet Evanovich books, but at least I read through the SERIES several times, not just the one book.

Now, I'm stuck on Harry Potter, specifically #7.  I did read the series initially, but now I'm down to #'s 5, 6, and 7.  Then after awhile, it was just #7.  I read it so much that I had to buy my friend a new one, because I sort of wore out her copy.

Just recently, I went back to the Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum series.  She's up to 13 now, so I should be good for awhile.

But HP#7 is still on my floor next to my bed.  Just in case... :)

Jeff Dunham.

Went to see Jeff Dunham last night. The ticket cost was close to extortion, but worth every penny. We were about 15 rows back on the floor. I could mostly see him, but sometimes the people in front of me shifted, so I had to shift, etc.

It was side-splitting funny. OMG, I laughed until I cried a couple of times.

But the best part, the part I will remember for a long time, was when he brought out Bubba J.

Now, Bubba J isn't normally part of the Sparks of Insanity show, and he hadn't worked with this character much later. So the Bubba J routine was the same routine that is on youtube:

Most of the people had watched this many times on youtube, so that when Jeff started into this act, people knew the punchlines. So Jeff would set up the joke, and the audience would finish the joke along with Bubba J.

It was AWESOME!! He got about 4 or 5 jokes in, and then he stopped, looked at the audience, and declared that "This is officially the weirdest show EVER". I'm still lauging.

The final punchline is that Walter is the greeter in Walmart, and he greeted the customers with "Welcome to Walmart! Get your S**t and Get Out!" The audience chimed in loud and clear.

This was one of the best shows I've ever seen. If you get the chance, definitly take it.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Not Me Monday

It's time again...

I DON't have tonsils the size of grapes.

My boss didn't make me go to Employee health for a fever. Because, even though I haven't handled my pathogen in 5 months, the mere fact that I was in the ROOM with said pathogen apparently isn't enough for me to not possibly have been infected.

I didn't make it to the gym 3 times last week, and I'm not quite proud of myself.

I didn't have a last one night stand with my ex before he left town. It wasn't really great sex. I'm not totally like a high school freshman, waiting for him to call/text/email me. I don't know that the chances of his calling/texting/emailing are close to nil.

I'm not completely TIRED of training my lab people in the BSL3. I don't still have 50 hours of training left.

I didn't watch Napoleon Dynamite for the first time last night. It wasn't funny, goofy, silly, and I didn't laugh when it was over, in spite of myself.

I didn't buy a Digital Converter box. I didn't hook it up and lose my PBS station. So I didn't unhook it. Because I don't watch more PBS than anything else.

I'm absolutely going to pay for cheap basic cable. because I'm not too cheap to buy that.

I didn't buy my cats new food dishes. Because that wouldn't be a complete waste of my resources. Because I didn't already have food dishes for them.

I didn't go online and buy more books from Better World Books. Because I don't have SEVERAL shelves of books I haven't read yet.

I don't have 3 bags of plastic water bottles for recycling, 2 bags of plastic bags for recycling, and 1 box and 1 bag of clothes to go to Goodwill. They aren't all sitting in my living room.

I don't still have Mardi Gras beads hanging on a chair in my kitchen.  My kitchen table isn't so loaded with crap that you'd can't even see the top.

And finally, I didn't have a doctor's appointment today, and she DID have a diagnosis.  I'm not taking antibiotics randomly, in the hope that it will fix whatever isn't wrong.  Because I'm a much better scientist than that.