Monday, February 9, 2009

A story

Back when I lived at the apartment, there was some drama. I was at the center of it.

Here's the short and sweet.

I was having sex with a neighbor, neighbor hooked up with another neighbor, they ended up married with children.

HA! That's like a year's worth of drama in 1 sentence!!

Anyway, the friendship with the female died, partly because this was the 3rd time this had happened to me and my ability to forgive and forget had long since disappeared. I admit it, it was on my end.

My other friend, Vickie, is still friends with the couple. Occasionally Vickie will update me on their status. The thing is, I don't care.

I don't mean that to be mean, or cold-hearted, and I don't think I'm carrying a grudge, or hard feelings. I just...don't care. It doesn't matter to me. Apparently they've had a second kid, which is good, I guess. I just...don't care. They have no impact in my life. The part of my life they belonged to is gone. That time is gone. I don't want to go back there. I'm happier here.

However, Vickie felt the need to tell me that the female's father passed away this summer from cancer, they found it too late and he died within 2 months. It's sad. I do sort of feel for her, because my SIL went through something similar, and while I don't know what it feels like to lose a parent, I do know how it feels to have a sick and hurting parent.

So, part of me wants to go to her Facebook page and tell her that I'm sorry for her loss. I hope that she managed to make some peace with her father, it wasn't a good relationship while I knew her.

The thing is, while I sympathise with her loss, saying so will only open a wound that is well scarred by now. I don't want to know how happy they are. I don't care who the kids look like, I don't want to know the cute thing the older one said last night.

The friendship we had, it's dead. Nothing will bring it back.  I don't want it brought back.  I didn't like who I had become during that time.  

So I listen to Vickie's stories, her updates of a friendship that is gone.   And I listen politely, make the right noises, not for the dead friendship, but for the living friendship with Vickie.  It makes her happy to update me, and it doesn't cost me anything to listen.

Vickie, if you read this, you don't have to stop updating me.  I'm glad that you are still friends with them.  Please don't be upset that I'm not.


sheree said...

Yeah, I agree...while I know that you *want* to let her know you're thinking of her, it would probably do nobody any good.

SUEB0B said...

I hope Vickie gets the picture that she isn't being helpful by telling you about them. She probably doesn't even realize it bothers you.