Sunday, February 15, 2009

a little bit of emotion is a good thing

I called my mom the other night.  We used to talk all the time, we could talk for hours.  We would talk about anything and everything, she was one of my best friends.  She's in the on-again in an on-again-off-again chemo pill.  2 weeks on, 1 week off.  She gets to feeling better and then has to start taking it again.  We talked for about 5 minutes, then she was quiet.  she was tired, didn't have much to talk about.  she told me goodbye, and then I talked to dad.

I miss my mom.  we've been fighting this for 2+ years now.  I hope she comes back.

In other depressing family news, my grandmothers health has taken a turn for the worse, she was having bowel troubles that no home remedies would fix, she's going into heart failure, this winter has been so hard on them that grandma finally agreed to move into an assisted living apartment.  A one bedroom.  We always stayed with them when we went north, for all of my 34 years we stayed with my mom's parents.  We have no idea what will happen now, who will we stay with?  A hotel is way too expensive, plus we wouldn't have much visiting time with the family.  My mother's brother's family might take us, but my aunt still works full time, and I'm not sure just how that would work.  My mother's sister lives in Indiana, so that's a little too far to visit rest of the family.  My dad's family, most of them don't have the space to take us for more than a week.  Plus, grandma has to feel VERY BAD to agree to move out of her house.  She has fought this for YEARS.

What else?  

I made 2 recipes out of my taste of home Healthy Cooking magazine (I LOVE Reiman publications...I know, dork).  A 50-cal banana nut mini-muffin and a hash-potato-cheese-ham casserole.  Both were REALLy good.  I've decided that it's stupid to get these magazines and not make anything out of them, so my goal is to make 1 new recipe a week from my magazines.  They can't all be desserts, either.  AND, of the desserts, they can't be all chocolate.  I'm trying to expand my tastes and my repertoire. 

This baking/cooking stuff links to grandma, because my grandma cooks and bakes, well now she cooked and baked.  When I bake and cook, I am closer to the women in my family than any other time.  I am connected to my relatives, to the women of my family.

I went and checked my pill pack, I'm pms-y.  That would account for the rather disjointed, emotional and sappy feel to this post.

Next post will be better.

1 comment:

SUEB0B said...

Cooking is good meditative stress relief, unless you burn something.