Friday, January 30, 2009

A new form of humilation

Now, I was looking for these pans for about an hour, I was sort of at a loss to figure out the correct wording to pull these from the hundreds of thousands of items on this massive company website. I guess what I thought would happen was that one of the directors would forward this to their ordering person, who could then tell me what I needed to know. Now, as it happened, right after I sent this email I managed to find the correct search string, and found the pans. Dirctor #1 did email me and tell me to make sure that it was polypropylene, and therefore autoclavable.

-----Original Message-----
From: SMurF.
Sent: Friday, January 30, 2009 10:45 AM
To: Lab Directors, 1, 2, and 3.
Subject: order

I need to order some of the autoclave trays for the liquid waste in the BSC. Can you get me the company and catalogue#? I'm having trouble finding them.


From: Director #3
To: SMurF


Food for thought, I agree that that as co-directors, we are here to help you and everybody in the BSL-3 lab, but do you think is too much to ask us to look for the catalogue number and company of the autoclave trays? Anyway, we responded right away to your request.


Director #3

My jaw fell open, and I am now utterly humiliated, as he sent this to all of the other directors, a secretary, and my boss.

And the only thing I can think is, "A.s.s.h.o.l.e"

I won't be able to look at him, much less speak to him, because if I do, it won't be nice, it will be BITCHY, and I can't get kicked out of our facility before we even start working there.

And all I can think is "A.s.s.h.o.l.e"


My boss sent a generic apology email, and when I went to talk to him, he said he wasn't upset with me, that Director #3 was being a shit lately, next time just send it to Director's #1 and 2, and ignore #3. I felt like I lost 10lbs of stress in a 3 minute conversation. I really do like my boss.
So, after driving back to work last night to pick up a small notebook for my dad, it dawned on me that the urge to please my parents, and especially my dad, is so ingrained that it is almost instinctive. I do it without even thinking about it.

Example A: A few weeks ago, shortly after my car was broken into, my dad asked me if I had talked to any general contractors to see about getting my garage redone. I said no, but I'd check into it. I didn't. So, early this week (or late last, it's hard to remember exactly when), dad asked me again. I still hadn't done it, so I got on the internet and started looking for general contractors in my area. I found quite a few, so I set up for 4 of them to come to the house today, at 9AM, 11AM, 1PM, and 3PM. That way, when dad came, he could talk to several guys instead of him having to drive down multiple times for one guy at a time. It was a trick to get them scheduled all for 1 day, without having them overlap, and it's a pretty inconvenient having the parents in the house, but I figured that would be the easiest for mom and dad. This morning, dad tells me that if I can get a couple of more bids he'd come next week, too. But you don't have to make 4 of them in one day, that was a bit much.

Example B: We went out to dinner last night at a mexican place just down the road from my house. I like it, they have handmade tortillas. However, those handmade tortillas were a bit tough, and a little crunchy in places, and dad won't wear his dentures, so he wasn't thrilled with my choice. Immediately, I began to think that I needed to go scope out some other mexican restaurants and try to find one that both mom and dad would be happier with.

Example C: My plans for the garage included adding a small utility bathroom, with a toilet and a small stall shower, for when there are other people in the house. That way there is another toilet, which is always good. Also, I'm moving the washer and dryer out to the garage. I thought I would put a small water heater into the garage, just big enough to run a load of hot water or take a hot shower. Then I'd like a tankless heater in the house to service the house. I will probably be shot down on this one. I can tell already I'm not going to win this battle. Because dad is paying for all of this, and because this is a bit of a luxury, to have a 2 dedicated water heaters, one for the house and one for the garage, I'm having a hard timing telling dad that I want this slightly more expensive option.

There are more. Every time I go home, it is to please the folks. Every time I call home, it is to please the folks. That really hard trip to Illinois, was to please the folks. The running and doing and helping while we were in Illinois, was to please the folks. It seems like I don't do anything relating to my parents because I want to, because it would be something I would enjoy. I do it because it is expected of me. And I'm getting tired of it. And then I ask myself, Are you going to stop? and I answer, NO, because if anything happened while I was being selfish, while I was being a spoiled brat, I would never forgive myself. So I trudge, stumble, drag on, at this moment, hoping that this will resolve itself as I go along, doubting that it actually will.

Dear God, please give me the patience to handle these pressures with diginity, grace and maturity, with a calm mind and spirit. Amen.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

A real man wouldn't mind...

I love CSI. I know all the reasons I shouldn't, but I do. I especially like this clip, it's from season 1 or 2, early on.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


well, for me anyway, and for some of my more scientifically-minded readers.

One of these days I'll go into my take on evolution vs creation. This is especially hard, as I am a fairly conservative Lutheran who believes that the bible is the 'Written Innerant Word of God', as well as a well-educated molecular biologist who believes in the math that tells us how old the earth is.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 Siphonophorae or Siphonophora, the siphonophores, are an order of the Hydrozoa, a class of marine invertebrates belonging to the phylum Cnidaria. They are colonial, but the colonies can superficially resemble jellyfish.

Although they appear to be a single organism, each specimen is actually a colony of Siphonophorae. The best known species is the dangerous Portuguese Man o" War.

Here's the link to the website it came from:

Wordless Wedesday

song chart memes
more music charts

Monday, January 26, 2009

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Let's see, what didn't I do last week?

I haven't not paid my parking ticket yet, and I'm not 1 day away from it doubling because I didn't pay it within 2 weeks.

I didn't eat an entire pan of apple crisp by myself, in two days, and it didn't upset my stomach for 2 days afterward.

I didn't make cupcakes for myself on friday, and I haven't eaten almost all of them already.

I didn't eat really crappy last week, with the excuse that 'It's my birthday!'.

I didn't almost cry at the bank because no one will deposit my insurance check.

I haven't put off disassembling my washing machine, so I didn't have to go mooch some laundry time from a friend.

I didn't threaten bodily harm to the people I'm training to use a high-level lab suite if they don't follow the rules and try to get me in DEEP TROUBLE.

It didn't take me several tries to buy a LaCie DVD Burner, because I wasn't an idiot who didn't understand the instructions on the screen about Visa Security Systems. And then, because I tried several times, I wasn't called by the company to make sure that I wasn't stealing someone else's credit card and ID.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Birthday dinner

Tonight some friends and I went to dinner at the local Sushi restaurant. It finally opened after Ike, we were very excited. It was a nice time, we all got along and laughed and joked, I really enjoyed it.

Then 2 of my friends and I went to a small bar down the street. MIchelle has asthma, so we only stayed 2 hours, but still, it was a fun 2 hours. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy sitting in a bar and just enjoying the time. Of course, when I got home I had bar funk all over my cute new ornamental jacket, shirt, pants, and bra.

MIchelle and I agreed, we need to go to Large City, where there is a smoking ban on all restaurants, bars included. That way she can stay longer, and we don't have Bar Funk on us when we leave, and we can still sit and drink and listen to the music. I think maybe we can get a couple of people to go. That would be LOTS of fun!

Dear God, thank you for friends. Amen.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Better mood today.

I've been pretty cranky lately, I keep meaning to clean my house, but I get home, lie down, and I'm done for the duration.

However, last night I kept moving. I started by getting my insurance check finally signed by Citimortgage so that I can deposit it. Then I went in a got a few groceries. It was hard not to overspend, but when I got to the checkout, I really looked over what I had in my cart, then I took out the things I didn't need. It was pretty embarrassing, but I did it. I kept my groceries for the week down to $25. Go Me!

Last night I cleaned my bedroom. I picked all the dirty clothes, I vacuumed the rugs, washed the sheets (sort of), made the bed, made a stack of clothes and stuff to go to Goodwill, then I moved to the kitchen, I did dishes, made bread, fought with the washing machine, made apple crisp (because if I waited much longer the apples would have been REALLY bad), did more dishes, cleaned off my kitchen counter, threw away empty wine bottles, put away the full ones. I even managed to eat dinner. Go Me!

I felt very productive. Therefore, today is a better day. I might cancel the gym tonight and work on the floor in the living room and hallway.

This weekend, my extra bedroom!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Pray for me.

My washing machine in dying. It won't agitate. It will empty, but not agitate. Now, that's not entirely true, because if it's a very small load, with very little (or nothing) in it, it will agitate a little bit. But not enough to actually wash anything. And it will spin, but only if it didn't agitate during the wash cycle. And I have to help it start the final spin cycle.

I've looked online, and I'm thinking it's the agitator dogs.

Actually, I'm not thinking that. I'm hoping that it's that. I REALLY don't want to give dad's money to a new washing machine, or to someone who can fix mine. I just want the one I have to work.

Pray for me. I'm going to take it apart tomorrow night.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Not Me Monday

It's once again time for Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not call in sick tonight to the gym tonight. to not sit at my table and not blog about what I didn't do this week. and I didn't sit and eat raw turbinado sugar.

I didn't get a great deal of joy out of a 3:00pm friday meeting where my boss told some obnoxious people in another lab they had to be nice to be because I would be training them.

I didn't spend all week trying to find a MAC compatible external DVD burner. I didn't go to 3 stores friday night. I didn't end up at the MAC store in the local mall only to not have an asshole 19 year old tell me a MAC is an "investment" and wasn't meant to be upgraded. I didn't almost rip his head off and stick it up his rear.

I didn't end up driving 40 miles to a computer store on the West side of the Large City to the single computer store IN LARGE CITY that carries the LaCie brand external DVD. I didn't get there only to find out that their inventory was wrong and they DID have one. I didn't get a lesser brand to use for ONE day, and I didn't drive all the way back up to that single store this morning to return the lesser one I bought.

I didn't try to order the correct one online, only to NOT freeze my debit card by not reading the screen properly.

I didn't tell my dad he wasn't allowed to bitch about the camcorder issue any more, because I didn't specifically buy the dvd burner just for this reason.

My table isn't littered with all of the receipts from the last 5 weeks.

My bank account HAS been balanced in the last 2 months.

I didn't have to take my cat to the emergency vet last week for a 'probable' bladder infection.

I didn't put off making bread and buying groceries, and I DO have something to eat this week for lunch.

And finally, I'm not contemplating calling is sick tomorrow to clean the house, made bread, do dishes, buy groceries, pay bills, and do the hundreds of other little things I've been meaning to do for 3 weeks now.

How about you??

Thursday, January 15, 2009


When my niece was born, it came to be known that she probably wouldn't get to go see her great-grandma up in Illinois very often. As it turns out, SIL and Brother have managed to get up there 3 times now, which is pretty good, considering my brother's temperament and the length of the drive.

Now, my SIL is Hungarian. All of her family is still in Hungary. Bro, SIL and Niece have been to Hungary twice now, and will go quite a bit more often as niece gets older. But, still niece and her Nanji (hungarian for Grandma) don't see each other very often, even if they do talk once a week.

Shortly after niece was born, mom and I thought it would be a nice idea if we got a DVD recorder so that we could make DVD's of niece's life and send them to extended relatives.

Dad objected, but since he had the money and mom pushed for it, he did it. I have gotten nothing but crap from my dad about this camera for 3 years!!! SIL and brother don't use it quite like we (mom and I) had hoped. What's worse, until I got my MAC none of us had a nice enough computer to make burning DVDs an easy thing.

Somehow, it has fallen to me to figure out how to make all of this work. I'm not sure how, as she's NOT MY CHILD. But dad won't yell at bro or sil, he'll yell at me instead. Bro objected to it to start with, so he won't take any steps to help fix the problem. this leaves my SIL, myself and mom between brother and dad. And I'm a good daughter, so I take it and try to find a way to fix it. So my bro or sil won't take his nice gaming computer into Best Buy and tell the help desk: This is what I need to do. Make it work!

But no. Instead I do that.

Likewise, tomorrow I will go buy a MAC compatible DVD burner so that I can take the stupid mini disks from the camcorder and I will figure out the software, and I will make a regular sized DVD, I will take home to my brother and sil a dvd that they can burn and send on.

I catch the same crap for not sending my grandmother (niece's great-grandma) current pictures of said niece.

Once again, she's NOT MY CHILD. why are you telling me? tell her mother! or, since you talk to your grandson once or twice a month, TELL HIM!

Because (say it with me) SHE'S NOT MY CHILD.

that leads to another Christmas Vacation story: the answer to why g-ma asks me for pics is because when she does, I send her whatever I have, which are usually fairly recent. But the last time this was brought up, I told her to ask my brother. Oh, she couldn't do that! ?? WTH?? you can harass me and try to make me feel bad, but you can't do it to your grandson??


My Check Engine light went off. I'm not sure when, or why, but it's gone now.

It started coming on as a gas tank/cap error, but eventually it just stayed on all the time. Last week, I was late 2 days in a row, and I ran my poor car really hard, fast hard shifts, step hard on the gas, step hard on the brakes.

Then, no light. And it shifts easier, too. Yeah!
I sucked it up and bought a new flat-panel monitor for my computer at work. It was $100, but wow, my desk has so much more space with that monstrously large monitor that the computer originally came with. I figured my sanity was worth $100.
There was another funny story somewhere in my brain, but it is not accessible to me at this moment. I'll try to remember it and post it tomorrow. It was funny, too. You'd have laughed. probably.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Took this one on the ride home after Christmas, not bad for being taken out the window of a vehicle going 75mph!


I finally noticed monday night that my cat Annie wasn't peeing. She'd squat in the litter box, but producing nothing.

Remember when I said that I had wanted to leave early on tuesday? yes, well that was because Annie wasn't peeing and I wanted to take her to the vet. Totally forgot until I got home at 6:00. My vet closes at 7pm on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Guess what time she closes on Tuesday. Yes, at 6pm. I called every vet for several towns. They ALL close at 6pm on Tuesday. You would think that One of them would see the flaw in this plan, and SOMEONE would be open late on tuesdays.

However, I have a little bit of Vet Tech experience, so I did a little at home diagnostics.

I couldn't feel a bladder, she was lethargic and slow-moving, and she would sit and try to pee for, I timed it, 5 minutes, then move to the next litter box and try again.

I was worried that this wasn't a bladder problem but a kidney problem. So I sucked it up and went to the Emergency Pet Clinic up the road.

2 1/2 hours, 29 miles and $156 later, I had a cat with a Probable bladder infection. The price didn't bother me too much, I had figured at least that much. And, I thought about it, if I had gone to my regular vet, it would have cost about the same thing, but I'd have just paid for different things.

So, I was given 14 days of antibiotics, a mix of clavamox and amoxicillin, and 4 doses of an anti-inflammatory.

If in 2 or 3 days I don't see improvement, she'll got to my vet for blood work.

And, once we were in the clinic, she was all perky and happy and looking around, she didn't look or act sick AT ALL, she wasn't scared or anything. Just very curious. damn cat, if she'd have looked like that at home, I wouldn't have taken her to the vet.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


I had to get to work early this morning, I left my house at 6:30AM, it is now 5:20, and I have found the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory online...and I am now 20 minutes from leaving. DAMN!! nevermind, of course, that I could just watch it at home. but it's on nnnoooowwwww

I freaking LOVE this show!

Currently, I take a class at the gym on Monday, Wed and thurs from 6:30 to 7:30.

It is a testament to how committed to losing weight that I don't get to watch The Big Bang Theory on Monday nights, that I must dig online until I can find it free somewhere.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Not Me Monday!

It's time to reflect a little on the past week plus a couple of days

Well, I tried to join the blogroll, but I couldn't find the link, so here it is, anyway.

I didn't leave $5 in plain view in my car which did not end in someone breaking my window, which didn't cost me $195.46 (my copay wasn't $200). And I didn't just give up when the repair people didn't vacuum enough so that I didn't have small piles of glass remaining on the floorboards.

I didn't skip the gym monday, because a friend I haven't seen since before christmas didn't call me and invite me over for pizza.

I'm didn't skip the gym tuesday to eat dinner with another friend. And, I didn't eat 3 cookies that night, and coffee with real cream.

I didn't go sit and watch football and drink beer with the same friend from tuesday, and this was not on top of the fact that I did go to the gym more than once last week.

I didn't skip the gym on friday, because I wasn't tired, and I didn't mooch dinner off of friends, because that would just be sad.

I'm not sorry I volunteered to be the Records Director for a very good group, because this isn't a 1 year appointment, and I'm not already dreading the next 10 meetings.

I didn't wait almost 2 weeks to unpack from christmas vacation, and my suitcase isn't still sitting in my hallway waiting to be put away.

I didn't JUST take down my christmas decorations this weekend, and there aren't still boxed ornaments on my bedroom floor, and they aren't waiting for me to one day put them away.

I didn't splurge on a cute but completely ornamental coat at Macy's saturday.

I didn't sleep sunday afternoon, I didn't put off vaccuuming up the artifical tree bits on my floor, and my floor isn't all sparkly and pretty.

I didn't just step over the pile of cat puke on my kitchen floor this morning, because that would be disgusting, and I don't have all 4 of my nice bowls dirty in the sink, plus that one that extra that I didn't dig out, because I haven't put off washing the dishes for 5 days now, because that would be disgusting. probably.

I didn't laugh when the ex thought he was insulting me by calling me weird. because I'm totally not weird. I'm completely nomral, just ask my friends...or maybe I'm not completely nomral, don't ask my friends?? (shrugs) could go either way

It's the little things that make you smile...

Ok, this is really passive-aggressive, and it's pretty immature, too, but it makes me LAUGH, so I'm doing it anyway. I'm confessing it here.

It started, apparently, when I forwared a picture (very funny, a butt naked man face down in 4 feet of snow with a snorkel, mask, and fins on, titled: Snorkeling in Michigan) to Ex's sister and dad. I did this because I know that Ex's father likes to forward stuff like this, and it was funny. There wasn't an ulterior motive, I just sent it because it was funny.

Last week, when the Ex texted me, it turned into a bit of a text-fight. It went something like this:

Me: So, why are you texting me again all of a sudden, are you looking for a booty call?

Him: No. You emailed my sister. Don't do that again.

Me: Bite me.

Him: She's tired of all your weird shit.

Me: Why don't you get your own email address, that way it won't bother you who your sister is communicating with.

Him: I'm serious. Stop emailing my family.

Me: You know, I didn't email your sister until thursday, the text you sent me wednesday night was ALL you.

Him: Your Ass.

I stopped responding at this point, mostly because there didn't seem to be too much more to add.

Now, I'd like to point a few things out:

* His sister likes me. We got along pretty well while I was dating Ex, and if you remember from the first time this happened, we agreed that men are ass's, and brother's especially.
* His dad LOVES me. Most dad's do. They need to be 20 years or more older than I am, but the old men LOVE me.
* It makes me laugh that calling me weird is supposed to be an insult. I'm well aware that I stray a little far from 'Normal'. I made my peace with this many years ago. When I talk about work, I talk about Experiments and animals. When I talk about church, I talk about the Woman's group I belong to. When I talk about my friends, they run the gamut from Screaming Liberal, to very conservative, from my cousin at 22 to some ladies from church at 77. I'm ok with 'Weird'. I wear Weird as a badge of honor.

Now, the passive-aggressive and immature part: I will forward every goofy email I get to Ex's Sister and dad. Every one. And every time I do, it will make me laugh and smile all over again.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Some funny/interesting things

Last year in August, one of the sales rep's I work with totally screwed another sales rep I work with out of a pretty big sale, and thus a pretty big commission. By the time it got to our Purchasing office, the deal had been made and the second sales rep was SOL. It really upset me, so I've quit using the first sales rep's company. As his is a very large company, me not ordering for him isn't much of a big deal to him, but it means something to me, so I do it.

That means that some of the items that I purchase look different now.

For instance:

'[my name], is this still good?'

'What is it?'

'The bottle says Methanol.'

'Why wouldn't it be good? Isn't it still sealed?'

'Yes, but it looks different.'

'What? It's still Methanol, it's just from a different supplier, that's all.'

'Oh, so it's the same thing?'

'Yes, it is still 100% Methanol. It's ok to use.'

'Well, I just wanted to make sure.'

Christmas Eve I got a text message from Ex. It was a joke that he forwarded. I didn't respond, first because it was christmas eve and I was busy with family, and second, I don't respond to forward text messages. If you want to talk to me, then you have to text me something that warrants a response.

So, last night, I get another text: 'What are you doing tonight?'

Now, as it happens, I was at the gym when he texted me, and I didn't think to check my phone last night, so I didn't read the text until this morning. I did respond, but it was only to say that I was at the gym. I didn't ask what he wanted, or anything like that.

It makes me laugh. I KNEW he'd call/text me again. I knew it. I don't know how I knew it, but I did. And it intrigues me. Oh, I don't think I'm interested in dating him again, I'm pretty sure he burned that bridge, but I'm interested to see how long he'll keep contacting me. Especially when I haven't given him any encouragement to do so.

OH! Inspiration! It's because I'm acting like a total Bitch on this! Of course! Treat men well, and they run like they were being chased by the hounds of hell, but be a complete and total bitch, and they fall down at your feet. I guess, I've just never been a big enough bitch until now. HA!
Last night at the gym, I forgot to take a water bottle, so I had to go get water in the middle of the class. As I was walking through the gym, I saw a young woman crying to her weight lifting boyfriend.

"I just can't lift that much weight! And you aren't helping me at all! Why are you acting like this????" *in a tearful whine*

I laughed! Oh honey!

Rule #1: Don't go to the gym with your boyfriend. He doesn't want you to go, he doesn't want to be your trainer, he doesn't want to look after you.

Rule #2: If you INSIST on going to the gym with your boyfriend, DO NOT cry and whine at him.

Rule #3: If you cry and whine at him, he will get immensely pissed off with you, and maybe break up with you, and you will think he's a jerk, when really all he wanted to do was go and lift some weights.

Rule #4: If you MUST do something athletic with your boyfriend, go for a run/walk/bike ride together. But be prepared to be able to keep up, especially if he's already in pretty good shape and runs/bikes by himself.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Christmas Vacation Story

CV Story #3

My grandma was all impressed with a young-ish man in their congregation who was a widower. They had 2 small children, 2 girls less than 6, I think, and the wife was killed in a traffic accident. And my grandma was so amazed at the young-ish man, that he didn't hurry up and get married, that he was taking care of the kids and raising them on his own, and grandma was just amazed at this.

I asked her, Well, they're HIS children, right? Like, they're not step children or adopted or anything, Right?

Yes, said Grandma.

Then, why is it so amazing? They're HIS CHILDREN. That's part of being a parent. You have the full responsibility of them. They are yours, even if your spouse dies early, they are still YOUR CHILDREN.

And Grandma says, "I guess we know why You're still Single".

...(it's rare that I'm actually speechless)

But, they're HIS CHILDREN. He SHOULD be taking care of them. That's what mature, responsible adults do. They stand by the commitments they make.

I guess if this is too much to expect from an adult male these days, then maybe that IS why I'm still single.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

A year in review, sort of

So, my dad gave me some money for Christmas. Actually, a good little bit of money. However, the night I got back home my car window was broken, and the running around of the Rather Large City that I live very close to was shortly curtailed. Besides the fact that I could only run 1 errand at a time (because, of course, I couldn't CLOSE my car, much less lock it), running around THAT town with one front seat window out could be considered something of a safety hazard.

So, the fun things I was going to buy this weekend I haven't been able to.

So, then I thought I'd blog.

But, then I wondered what I wanted to blog about. The Christmas Vacation (Officially, the CV) offered several choice options.

Like, CV Story #1: I know I've gained a couple of pounds. Since Ike hit, I've gained about 6 lbs, and probably 8 or so lbs since I last saw the grandparents. So the first night we were there, I walked to the kitchen to get a drink, and as I walked back into the living room, Grandma was telling Grandpa, "Wow, [granddaughter] has gained some WEIGHT!"

Yes, thank you Grandma. I know that. I am very much aware of that fact.

And CV Story #2: We had a Paternal Family gathering while we were in Illinois, and grandma (my mom's mom) thought it would be nice if we took something, so rather than fight her, we (grandma and I) made one of her 'salads'. It was an apple salad with whipped cream, marshmallows, peanuts, apples, and pineapples in syrup. As I cut up the apples to put into this sugar concoction, Grandma tells me that "if anyone at the party says they like it, you can tell them that YOU made it!" I said, "Grandma, I hate to tell you this, but I don't give a rats ass what the people at this party think of me." She was rather upset and a little shocked, but I thought that at my age I was allowed to tell her the truth.

And since I really don't want to use all that great fodder all at once, I needed something else to blog about.

I thought, A Year In Review, 2008!

Let's see: Mom: Started out in ICU, moved to Long Term Care unit, went home, started chemo again, cancer grew, transferred to Large Cancer Hospital, found Brain Cancer, treated it, back on chemo again. Bald again, and still pretty sick and very tired, but she's still alive and doing ok.

Dad: Still as arrogant as he was at the beginning of the year. Still completely convinced that NO ONE could possibly take care of mom or the house or ANYTHING as good as he does. But I love him.

Brother: Found a supplement that does seem to be helping his mood and sleeping issues. He's still a good dad, when he takes the time to be a good dad.

SIL: We've become friends, finally. We bond over my dad's complete arrogance, my brother's assed-ness, my nieces personality and her amazing brain, well, we bond over lots of things.

Katie: Our friendship has grown this past year, we've become closer by several degrees. I'm watching her, and I see myself, realizing that the restrictions that we grew up with our parents do not have to be our restrictions, that you don't have to continue to relive your parent's lives. The idea that you really can become whoever you want to be, and ultimately the person you are responsible to is yourself.

My Obnoxious Grad Student: We started the year OK, but as the year drug on, she decided that I wasn't a good researcher, and that I didn't work hard enough. I told her early on that she was making herself too available to our boss, and as he began to demand meetings for her at 7pm, and working very late multiple days of the week, she sort of blamed me, partly because I WASN'T available to him like that. After Ike, I was sincere in my offers to help her, and I guess she saw that, because after Ike she was much nicer to me face to face. She probably is still talking trash about me behind me, but at least she makes nice when I'm there.

(I had to look over my blogs from the year to remember what all I did. Damn, I think that means I'm getting old...)
Me: I got a new computer. I got a raise. I gained some weight I worked a part time job for 4 weeks. I spent some time with my Cousin over her Spring Break. I went to Illinois to see family. I had a boyfriend. I got to have sex a few times. I fixed my bathroom door. I lost a boyfriend. I made a list. I gained a little insight into my own personality. I fixed my kitchen faucet. I joined a gym. I painted the trim in my living room and hallway. I hosted a Christmas party. I went to see family in Illinois (yes, that's twice this year. I AM a good Daughter/granddaughter). I learned how to make grandma's good cinnamon rolls.

Dear God, Thank you for all of my family and friends this year. Thank you that we are all still alive and kicking. Thank you for mom's continuing good responses to the treatment. Some of the lessons I've had to (re)learn I feel have been a bit redundant, but I guess thank you that they weren't any harder than they were. Amen.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Not quite a Happy New Year Post

So, yeah, went to Illinois with mom and dad to see family, and there are several good posts in that, but to start the new year:

I got home at 7-ish on the 1st, having traveled more than 1000 miles in a car with my parents over two days, and I was glad to be back in my home, my bed, with my cats.

Then someone knocked on my door at 4AM. I thought I dreamed it, then they knocked again. I grabbed my phone and went to the door on high alert: "WHO'S THERE?????" Police Department! Show me some ID! Ok, he did.

Someone called in a suspicious person in our area, and as they were driving this area they noticed that my passenger window was busted. Yeah. Happy New Year.

The only thing he/she/they took was the $5 in my little change cup. $5. He/She/They took a brick to my window for a lousy $5.

I finally went back to sleep about 5:30. Then my very nice neighbor knocked on my door at 8AM to tell me my window was out.

Then my insurance called me at 9 to start my claim.

Of course, this being January 2, no one was available to actually WORK on my car. I set up an appointment for monday morning. My insurance deductible is $200. The price to fix my window? $195.46. Yeah. Happy New Year.


I managed to get the driver seat cleaned up, but of course, because there is glass EVERYWHERE, I have now tracked small amounts of glass into my house. So, now there are very tiny glass shards on my hardwood floors.

And now, it is supposed to rain tonight. My car door windows aren't framed. Do you know how hard it is to tape windows that are like that? At 9 at night, I had to run out and get duct tape, because all I had was packing tape and that doesn't stick to the metal.

It was at this point, when I was trying in the dark to tape a heavy duty black garbage bag to the frame of my car, ALONE, that I realized something.


I would really liked to have been a total girl about this.  I would have liked to  just called a boyfriend and say, "HELP!!"

And then, when I called dad, I don't know, maybe a little support?  maybe a gosh that sucks?  No, I got a lecture about how stupid it was that I left the $5 in view. And a reminder to lock my windows and doors. 3 times.

Happy New Year! Hope yours is starting off better than mine.