Friday, December 19, 2008
I'm going to go see Handel's Messiah tonight, so I am staying in town so that my friends and I can all go together. So, I'm staying at work, mostly just playing games for the next 2 hours killing time.
I am the LAST one here. There is NO ONE else in the lab.
HA! Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
During the past year, I was "Evaluated" by our Environmental safety people, and I was deemed "Too Fast". Not that I had done anything wrong, or that I had a spill, or broke a rule, or didn't decontaminate properly, or any of a thousand things I might have done wrong, I was just too fast.
Now, when time is tight, when we have 100 animals to dose, or process, or whatever, it's all good. I can get the experiment done efficiently and safely, and quickly. And before the whole EHS condemnation, I was asked to help with things BECAUSE I was efficient, fast, and GOOD at my job.
After the condemnation, and because I still want to keep my job, I had to promise to slow down. Now, this is hard, as at times I'm not concentrating on what I'm doing as much as I'm concentrating on not going fast. This seems to be less safe to me than just working carefully, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
But, while at this class, we of course discussed how to work safely. When working slowly was brought up, the three people who know me turned around and looked at me and laughed. And not in a 'laughing with you' sort of way, it was much more 'laughing AT you'.
I smiled. I didn't say much.
But, God In Heaven, I cannot wait until they ask for my help again.
Oh, I'm sorry! I'm busy EVERY DAY for the next 2 weeks! Oh, did you need to be trained on Cardiac Puncture? I'm SO SORRY, I just don't have the time. Oh, You need trained on a Retro-orbital bleed?? And you have to bleed 50 mice? Wow, gee, I wish I had the time. That's a shame, I just don't have a WHEN I'd have a spare moment.
It ticked me off, which is a little hard to do, and it stung. Because I know a couple of those people well enough to know that if that's what they said directly to me, what they are saying ABOUT me is much worse.
I hate that I'm some sort of joke. I'm good at my job, and it pisses me off that I am being made to be a joke. And what's worse, I have no way to change it, or stop it, or do anything about it at all.
Dear Lord, I know that this is wrong, that this is not the reaction to have, that I shouldn't feel or act this way. And I do try, You know I do! So please, forgive me for what I'm not sure I'll be able to stop myself for doing! Amen.
I totally didn't have a MRSA infection IN MY FREAKING TOE (because how the hell does that even happen?)!!
I would not have dared fuss at my parents because they DID NOT call me when mom started her treatment of full brain radiation.
I did not have a conversation about semi-automatic VS fully automatic M16's that may or may not have been shot over thanksgiving weekend, because that would have made the FBI men totally listen to my conversation, which we didn't have.
I didn't contemplate calling the ex just so that I can get this STUPID TV ARMOIRE out of my car!!! Because I totally wouldn't end up having sex with him.
I did NOT spend my wednesday keeping an eye on the WOOT! Off, reading blogs, and putting off the next experiment, that MUST be started Monday.
I did not think evil thoughts about the stupid professors who were Laid Off, but are supposed to work until their contract is up in August, but who are TOTALLY NOT here, so that there isn't anyone to run the horribly complicated software attached to the horribly complicated microscope that I need.
I didn't almost have a breakdown at work because my tubing is off by about a millimeter, and it won't slide in the drying mechanism, and this experiment is doomed anyway, so WHY THE HELL are we still doing it?? Yeah, I didn't say evil, terrible, hurtful things about my boss in my head.
I wasn't so stressed at the idea of hosting a Christmas party that I was a bitch for 2 days, before I finally realized WHY I was being such a bitch.
I wasn't a little disappointed that the gift I got at our Ladies Aid Christmas party was a gift bath set. And I didn't almost try to trade with another woman to get the gift that I bought.
And Finally, I DID NOT write this every day last week, so that I would remember what it was that I didn't do.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
I don't think I actually posted about my toe, so here goes. I had what I thought was an infected ingrown toenail, so on wednesday it hurt bad enough to go see a podiatrist. Now, I lied to my boss when I told him I didn't expect him to remove part of the toenail. I did. I was HOPING he wasn't going to, but I assumed that would be the easiest thing, the most painful, but the easiest.
I didn't watch, something about toenails and fingernails being removed turns my stomach.
Turns out that they cultured the infection, and it was...MRSA!!!
Yes folks, I had a methicillin resistant infection under my toenail. No wonder the antibiotic cream I was putting on it wasn't helping!
I've been on (I think) cephalosporin for 6 days, but they called in a stronger antibiotic for me today. Another 10 days of antibiotics, 3 times a day! Yeah!
And who the hell gets a MRSA infection in their TOE?? How on earth did that even happen? If I'd had a recent pedicure, I'd have blamed that, but I haven't had a pedicure in over a month.
Last night I was on my last birth control pill, so I ran to walmart to get my new prescription filled. Of course, I meant to do that 2 weeks ago, so I had a minor panic attack when I couldn't find the prescription, but I took all the crap out of my purse, and there it was!
While I was at walmart, I decided I needed an oil change (I was at 6000 miles...oops!), do you know what they're charging for an oil change now?? It was $30! At Walmart! I could have gone to a GOOD oil change place for that much!
I bought my niece her Christmas present, I was going to buy her a cabbage patch doll, but I didn't like any of the ones I found, so I bought her a My Little Pony. I loved my My Little Ponies! I hope she likes it.
I use the Medical Flex plan at work, because I always have office visit co-pays and Rx co-pays out the wazoo. Last year my plan was to take out $900.
I didn't do my math right last year, so I thought I wouldn't have enough receipts to get all my money back. I was WAY WRONG. Just my Rx co-pays were enough, I didn't even submit my office-visit co-pays. However, before I got the chance to realize that I WOULD have enough to cover it, the end of the fiscal year was upon us, and I had to re-elect all of my insurance plans at work, so I set the limit pretty low for the new year at $600. (this is going somewhere, I promise)
MISTAKE! The fiscal year starts 9-1, and as of 12/8, I have already spent over $600 in co-pays. That means, $600/quarter, that's $2400, roughly, for a years' worth of co-pays. And this doesn't take into account the over-the-counter medicines I buy.
I freaking HATE having to take all this medication. I'm thinking of getting an IUD, just so that there is ONE less pill to take each day.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
So, when we last talked to the ex, we discussed trying again, moving very slowly. That was before thanksgiving, and I was curious about his decision.
I texted him last night, did he want to come watch my netflix DVD, I had Ron White (of Blue collar comedy team). Well, to make a long texted conversation short, he told me only if we was going to get laid. I told him no, that I addressed that the last time we talkd, and I meant it, I don't want another fuck buddy. Ultimately, he told me all he wanted was sex once in awhile.
Having addressed this TWICE, I ignored that last text. And realized that this is now over. I once again erased his number, I deleted the text messages, and I won't answer his calls.
Not unexpected, but still hurt my feelings a little bit, and it made me a little sad.
I sure am tired of being single.
Dear God, WHY WHY WHY????? Amen (this is a very common prayer for me)
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I'm off my feet today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and my car is standard, so I was homebound today. I've got a friend picking me up tomorrow, but in the meantime my friend Vickie took me to get my antibiotic and vicodin (I think I love that stuff), and we went out to eat, too. It was odd, we both seemed to be having a hard time talking. There were long silences, for my part they weren't uncomfortable, but I can't say for her. I kind of felt bad, she drove 15 miles to come to my home to pick me up, and then we drove back up to where she lives to eat, then she drove me back home, and the drove BACK to her house, I think she put about 60 miles on her car just tonight. Now, it was her idea to go to that particular restaurant, but still...60 miles in one night is a bit.
Monday, December 1, 2008
I Absolutely, 100%, never in a million years, DID NOT allow my F*** buddy of 11 years to come see me on Monday. Absolutely not. never ever. at all. nope. I didn't shave my legs or put clean sheets on the bed or anything like that.
Last week, when my ex-bf called me after 2 months of no calls, I did not tell him to make up his freaking mind, if we're dating we need to set some new rules, if we're not, then let it be the end already.
I did not say evil things when my boss called a 2pm meeting on the wednesday before Thanksgiving. And I wasn't secretly happy that we left Here too early to go to my church, and got there too late to go to mom and dad's church.
I was not thankful that I had taken Ted home with me, and therefore I had to leave thursday night rather than stay the whole weekend.
I did not blow off helping at the church in favor of sleeping in and doing some black friday shopping.
When baking with a friend, I did not let her do it all wrong, and told her after the fact. And she did not tell me to 'screw you'. HAHA, that definitely didn't happen.
I did not eat 3 pieces of pie for breakfast. (because I wasn't out of milk, and the pie I wasn't just calling out my name)
When I got back to my parents house on saturday, I was not irritated that, when I got there the tree was up and decorated, even though that was the reason that they told me that I needed to come back.
I did not use my niece as an excuse for my dad to pay for us to go see the Nutcracker.
I totally didn't take a nap on the couch this morning before work, so that I was about 1 1/2 hours late.
And, I really am trying very hard to go to they gym each day to try to get rid of the extra 10 pounds that I piled on after Ike.
For being 3 1/2 years old, she did VERY well, she was a little antsy for the last 20 minutes, but she loved the mice and the rat king, we got a picture with a mouse after the show, she smiled and everything!
I've seen the nutcracker several times, but never on a sunday matinee. It seemed like it was different, a little more juvenile, which makes sense, but at the same time, I like the more grown-up version better. I'm not sure, though, if it was just this year's version, or if it changes on sunday matinee since there was a high concentration of kids at the show. Anyone know?