Friday, October 31, 2008

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Big Gun

So, I had to go to the dentist and have a small cavity filled. 

Apparently, I've never had my teeth completely numbed.  I've always had little, well, I guess little shivers, when I've had my teeth drilled.  I thought that was normal.  Apparently, it isn't.

So, my current dentist and I were talking, and I'm not normally a wimp when it comes to the dentist but I'm pretty PMS-y this week, so I was pretty much a wreck at the thought of  those shots in the back of my mouth.  We got through the first set of shots, he gave me a little extra dose.  They started to drill, and I started to get upset with the little shivers.

So, my very nice dentist stops, and talks to me.  He says that he noticed that when he was giving me the shots that my anatomy inside my mouth is a little off.  Not quite normal.

(WOW!  Proof that I'm not quite normal!  we all suspected it.)

So, he said he could (quote), " Bring out the big guns."  

uh, what?

I was numb in the jaw, I just wasn't numb at the root of the tooth, so he took another big dose of drugs and injected it...

(wait for it)

(wait)

Between the Bone of my jaw and the root of the tooth.  Yes.  Just thinking of this making my stomach turns a little, and I was trying very hard to not picture it as he was TELLING ME ABOUT IT WHILE HE DID IT.

However, My tooth was NUMB.  I felt nothing.  It was great!

He told me that the extra shots, especially where they were, would make my jaw very sore the next day.  He was right.  My face has been very sore all day today.  All last night, every time I rolled over onto my left side, I rolled back over onto my right side.  I couldn't chew on the left side most of the day.

It is now a toss-up:  little shivers while they drill, or jaw pain for 24 hours.

I think, next time, if it is a little cavity, I'll take the little shivers.  I'll wait for the "Big Guns" for the big fills and crowns.

AND, I had no idea how often I clenched my teeth.  Wow!  I do that All Night Long!  that could be taken WAY out of context there.  hm.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Three Obsessions

So, this is a link from Red Stapler, but I liked it, so I thought I'd try it:

Meet the readers:

What are your obsessions?

1. Infectious Diseases, transmission, treatments, etc. Not surprising, considering my job.

2. I really like Sudoku, I do at least one puzzle a day.

3. I think I'm obsessed with worry. I'm always worrying about one thing or another, work life friends family money house car boyfriend ex-boyfriend sex money work (these things will repeat) But I always seem to be worrying about something. I guess that makes it an obsession.

What about you?

Monday, October 27, 2008

For Lorie, bringin on teh pain

dog
see more puppies"

Halo's and lab inspections

On Friday my mom had the single shot of radiation to the spot on her brain.

Turns out, the spot was on the visual region of her brain.

They gave mom an atavan to take in the morning, which she said was a Very Good Thing. The used local anesthetic to numb a spot, then screwed the halo to her skull. Mom said the worst part was that when the screws hit bone, you could hear it go crunch. Once again, atavan was a VERY GOOD THING. The halo had 4 screws. 2 went in correctly the first time, but the other 2 had to be repositioned, so mom had 6 little sore open wounds on her head. She said the halo was very heavy. Once the halo was on, it was easy, she just sat in a chair and the locked her head in place and shot the beam at the correct spot. Once it was done, they unscrewed the halo, put antibiotic on the screw spots, and they went home.

Mom is due to start 15 days of radiation today. She has pretty colored x's all over her chest and neck, blue and green and red and pink. I hope it doesn't make her too sick. She should be done in time for thanksgiving, but I don't know how up to it mom will be. Dad wants to do Thanksgiving at their house, but I think it would be easier on both of them to do it at Brother and SIL's. Maybe SIL and I can change his mind.

I don't think I'm going to take a seasonal job this year. Between trying to catch up on work and family, I don't think I'll have much weekend time free. Oh well, maybe next year.

I think that's it for today. We are having a lab inspection so that we can get back to work after Ike, and the boss is hovering around and driving me crazy, so I guess I'll go try to calm him down.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

lying on the rug like cheap pants...

So, while I was not-to-busy during Ike, I went shopping...I know, shocking.  A little retail therapy, if you will.  I am overloaded with tops, so I went shopping  for bottoms.  In an attempt to look 'hip' 'young' 'cool',  I was looking for some lower-rise jeans.  I found an cheap inexpensive pair of jeans at wal-mart a local department store.  But then, tonight, I bent over and I felt a definitive breeze upon my bare butt.  The front had slid down below my pudge, and the back slid down my ass.

AAAAaaannnnddd, that's the last time I wear cheap  wal-mart low-rise jeans.

Amen. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

And 15 years Later, I'm done

Oh!

I don't find an immediate mention to this, so I'll tack it on as a separate post.

I am, once again, single. Yep. Are you surprised? No, me either.

As to WHY I'm single again? no idea. He just stopped calling me after the storm. I don't know if it was something I said, did, didn't say or didn't do. I don't even know for sure that it is something from my end, though with the way I go through relationships, I'm pretty sure it's something I'm doing. I don't know what that is, but I'm pretty sure it's me.

It could be that he didn't want to have to deal with my mom's cancer. It might be...well...I dont' know what else, really. But it could be something completely unrelated.

I could have stopped by his house, I drove by and his truck was there, but I was chicken, and besides, who wants to have that conversation: Hi! I noticed you haven't called me for 2 weeks. Is there something you'd like to tell me?

So instead I wrote him a note. Not a psycho, not a hysterical, not a You Are a Rotten Dog-Kissing Son of a Goat-sort of a note, just a note that says what I said above. "Hi. I noticed you haven't called me in 3 weeks! I can guess why, but it's kind of crappy that you couldn't just have told me you don't want to date anymore."

I've been dating for 15 years now. I think I'm done for now. Maybe in 2 or 3 years I'll try again.

Dear Lord, WHY? WHY? WHY? Amen.

A story from Ike

So, my neighbors helped me tack up my back fence a couple of weeks back.

They were very nice about it, this was early after Ike, and there were packs of dogs running around. While I was out, my neighbor went outside to check out a noise, and there were 3 dogs attacking my biggest cat, (her nickname is lumpy b/c she's fat, and lumpy). A pit bull had her head, and another dog had her back leg, and the third was barking. Aggie (my neighbor) came tearing out of the house yelling, and her husband was right behind her wielding a 2x4. It worked, the dogs let go and ran. Between Katie (b/c they were staying with me at the time) and Aggie, they got Lumpy into the house, and Katie called me.

I went home, gave Lumpy a good dose of kittie morphine, and she slept for 2 days. When I stopped dosing her and let her wake up, she was limping a little on the hind leg, but after a day she stopped that, too. I couldn't find any broken bones or disjointed limbs, she was sore, but was bearing her full weight within 3 days. I couldn't find any punctures, no abscesses, nothing. God definitely protects me and my animals.

Anyway, after that Aggie and Ray, her husband, helped me put up my back fence, so that the cats had a protected place to go. Lumpy will go into the back yard, but she won't go out the front door at all anymore.

Now, this also means that I don't have to worry about raccoons anymore, it (they?) is (are) content to eat the trash out of the trash cans.

Dear Lord, thank you for protecting my house, family, friends, and pets during Ike. Amen.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Further evidence



of my dorkness...

Life, good bits and hard bits

Gosh, what to write.

Mom is having a halo put on friday morning, they will do the single dose, high concentration, very precisely placed radiation sometime that day, and then the halo will come off. When they were telling me about it, I thought mom would have to wear the halo for the full 3 weeks of radiation they were talking about, and I thought, Oh shit, that will Thrill mom! But no, one dose on friday for the brain tumor, then 3 weeks of radiation of her neck/chest for the breast cancer tumor.

Let's see, what else? Dad really fell apart when they found out that they would have to go to Large Cancer Hospital. But he seems to be handling things pretty well now. The doctors are very good there, they make sure that mom and dad understand everything, they are optimistic, but they are realistic as well. That is doing a lot to keep both mom and dad from freaking out too much.

Grandma is out of the hospital. She is 82, I think, and has had heart disease for probably 10-12 years now. They scoped her at the hospital and cleaned out one artery and put a stint in, but another artery is completely blocked. Completely. However, Gma is 82, so they aren't in a big hurry to do a bypass. I'm thinking it is a quality of life vs quantity of life issue. So the doctors are going to try to break the block with medication. She went home saturday. Sunday she made fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cole slaw and pie for lunch. She'll probably live another 10 years, just on strength of personality alone.

My friends Katie and Brett and baby Eli were staying with me in the aftermath of Ike. They finally have gas, hot water, and their washer and dryer hooked up and working! Yeah! It was so much fun having them live with me. I feel like Katie and I somehow cemented a friendship. Now if only Eli knew my name...

On the same vein, my friend Paige and her little one Carter needed a place until the 27th, so they are staying with me now. Carter is a baby, 8 months, so he's fun, too. He's learning to pull up and stand, it's quite cute.

I have lived alone a very long time now, 8 years, almost 9 years now. I didn't know how I would handle having people in my home, in my space, but it has been ok. In fact, the house might even feel a little empty without other people in it. I might have to start (*gasp*) inviting friends over!! (*gasp*). That means I'll have to CLEAN the HOUSE???

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Click to read story...

Ok, this was too funny. An old-fashioned hand crank egg beater as a centrifuge

An utterly frustrating day

So, apparently I took the news of mom's brain cancer a little harder than I thought.

I handled the phone call very well, mom is upset but not destroyed over the news. All of the doctors are very positive, so mom and dad aren't totally freaking out over this.

However, I may have taken it harder than I thought.
I have a very large fever blister on my lip, and 2 more places where they are trying to erupt. I'm assuming this is a continuation of the shingles infection earlier this month. I tried the original doctor who diagnosed, figuring that it should be no problem to get the acyclovir ointment for my lip. It took 2 days and 4 phone calls before they told me that I would have to be seen again before they would give me a Rx. It made me mad, she had just seen me 3 weeks ago, why the hell did they need to see me twice in one month for the same damn condition??

Now, I might also add that at this time, I have spent about $120 for the doctors and medicine, and I was reluctant to pay an additional $50-60, because my budget is tight at the moment anyway, and paying my copay so that a damn doctor can look at my lip and say, "Yep, you have fever blisters in and on your mouth" just galled the crap out of me.

So I tried to get in touch with my PCP, but since we are in the Hurricane Ike aftermath, my PCP wouldn't be in the alternate clinic until thursday. The nurses working that day wouldn't give me the Rx until they talked to her. I also couldn't get in touch with her Nurse Practioner. Now, I have seen the NP in the last 2 months, but no one could even find record of the NP being in the clinic, so no one was willing to help me there either. At this point I began to cry.

My last resort was my psychiatrist, but he wouldn't help me either, it wasn't his discipline/area. I began to cry in earnest now.

So, my lip painful, 2 more spots threatening to erupt, I tried the local free clinic. Ah, that seemed so easy, I'm out of money, I just need a 5 minute check and an Rx. No. I have a job, and that job is giving me insurance, so despite the fact that I'm out of money, because I still have to pay bills, they wouldn't/couldn't help me. I cried again.

So I went to the Urgent Care clinic, where I paid my f-ing copay, talked to the nurse, started crying again, talked to the Doctor, cried some more, and finally got my Rx. Now I went to the pharmacy, where it took 1 hour for them to fill it, and I spent another $50 on the medicine. I went home and cried again.

Then I began to think, that maybe all the tears and frustration wasn't directly linked to the medicine (though it was part of it, my lip burned like hell every time I talked/smiled/ate/drank), maybe this was overflow emotion from the news about mom.

Well, that's my best guess anyway. Today I don't have much patience, either. I yelled at the elevator today because it was running too slow.

Tomorrow will be better. Right? Tell me I'm right...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Now What!!???

So, mom had almost every scan and test known to man run on her, with the exception of a spinal tap.

I'm kidding. But she did have a bunch of tests and scans at Large Cancer Hospital. The found a small spot in her brain, the right side above her right ear, very close to the skull. All of the doctors say it is very easy to treat, with radiation and possibly surgery. Apparently this type of breast cancer metastasizes very easily into the brain, and that's what they were looking for. Mom has an appointment with a neurosurgeon on Monday.

My grandmother had a heart attack last week. Her defibrillator went off once, but then it didn't the last time. She's been in the hospital since last Wednesday, but they are hoping she'll come home today.

Yippee.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Do I want WHAT??

My 2 friends and their 20-month old daughter are staying at my house until their house is back up to normal after Ike.

Saturday morning, she asks me, "Do you want a Gonorrhea test?"

WHAT??

Do you want to go to Radio Shack with us?

Jeesh.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

A quick note from God, to me

October 05, 2008; Aquarius (1/20-2/18)
Today, the only question you should be asking yourself is: Why ask why? Knowing all the answers is not always advisable. It can keep you from having fun, and it can keep you from seeing things in a new light. Besides, if you probe too much into one little mystery right now, you will only be giving it power over you. So save your energy and don't try to figure out why things are happening the way they are happening today -- the answers won't satisfy you anyway. Just roll with the punches.


So this was my horoscope for today. I look at them, but I as a form of entertainment only, sometimes they make me laugh. But this one is so very appropriate for me, because I ALWAYS want to know why, about everything, I always have.

And especially, at the end of every guy I date, at the end of each relationship, I tend to obsess about why it ended. What did I do/say/ask or NOT do/say/assume that was bad enough to end the relationship. I'm pretty sure everyone does that, or at least every woman does that.

But now I'm supposed to let go, stop questioning, just let the past be the past, and keep moving forward to the next thing. At least, that's what my horoscope says. Do you think that God sometimes speaks to us from unusual places, like horoscopes?

Hey You! Chill Out! I'm not done with you yet. There's still lots to do, places to go, people to meet. Enjoy this time, enjoy the moment. It will all change soon enough. Take my Peace, it's yours. Pass it on. Love, God.

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