Wednesday, October 15, 2008

An utterly frustrating day

So, apparently I took the news of mom's brain cancer a little harder than I thought.

I handled the phone call very well, mom is upset but not destroyed over the news. All of the doctors are very positive, so mom and dad aren't totally freaking out over this.

However, I may have taken it harder than I thought.
I have a very large fever blister on my lip, and 2 more places where they are trying to erupt. I'm assuming this is a continuation of the shingles infection earlier this month. I tried the original doctor who diagnosed, figuring that it should be no problem to get the acyclovir ointment for my lip. It took 2 days and 4 phone calls before they told me that I would have to be seen again before they would give me a Rx. It made me mad, she had just seen me 3 weeks ago, why the hell did they need to see me twice in one month for the same damn condition??

Now, I might also add that at this time, I have spent about $120 for the doctors and medicine, and I was reluctant to pay an additional $50-60, because my budget is tight at the moment anyway, and paying my copay so that a damn doctor can look at my lip and say, "Yep, you have fever blisters in and on your mouth" just galled the crap out of me.

So I tried to get in touch with my PCP, but since we are in the Hurricane Ike aftermath, my PCP wouldn't be in the alternate clinic until thursday. The nurses working that day wouldn't give me the Rx until they talked to her. I also couldn't get in touch with her Nurse Practioner. Now, I have seen the NP in the last 2 months, but no one could even find record of the NP being in the clinic, so no one was willing to help me there either. At this point I began to cry.

My last resort was my psychiatrist, but he wouldn't help me either, it wasn't his discipline/area. I began to cry in earnest now.

So, my lip painful, 2 more spots threatening to erupt, I tried the local free clinic. Ah, that seemed so easy, I'm out of money, I just need a 5 minute check and an Rx. No. I have a job, and that job is giving me insurance, so despite the fact that I'm out of money, because I still have to pay bills, they wouldn't/couldn't help me. I cried again.

So I went to the Urgent Care clinic, where I paid my f-ing copay, talked to the nurse, started crying again, talked to the Doctor, cried some more, and finally got my Rx. Now I went to the pharmacy, where it took 1 hour for them to fill it, and I spent another $50 on the medicine. I went home and cried again.

Then I began to think, that maybe all the tears and frustration wasn't directly linked to the medicine (though it was part of it, my lip burned like hell every time I talked/smiled/ate/drank), maybe this was overflow emotion from the news about mom.

Well, that's my best guess anyway. Today I don't have much patience, either. I yelled at the elevator today because it was running too slow.

Tomorrow will be better. Right? Tell me I'm right...


Anonymous said...

You're right!

SUEB0B said...

Yeah, you're right. I admit I laughed at that first sentence, not because FUNNY but because UNBELIEVEABLE! I mean, dude, MOM, BRAIN CANCER - you are entitled to take it as hard as you want, despite however everyone else is carrying on, tra la.

Hugs. Treat yourself nice.