Tuesday, September 30, 2008


So, I have 2 back doors, one into a mud/utility room, and then one from the mud room into the kitchen. The cat flap is in the outside wall of the mud room. So when the cats are in for the night, I just close the inner door and leave the cat flap open.

2 nights ago, I heard something in my back yard rustling around, but I couldn't find a flashlight to see what it was. Last night, I heard the cat flap swish, something was going out of my mud room, but it wasn't a cat, because all of my cats were in already.

I found my flashlight, and low and behold, a rather large raccoon was on my back porch. I'm thinking that since I don't have a back fence, he must have come in from the alley, because I don't think I had a raccoon in my back yard before Ike. He must have been looking for something to eat.

So now, I have to close the cat flap, and try to remember to not put the garbage too soon before the pickup. Hopefully, he/she will go away if I take away his/her food source.

Friday, September 26, 2008

A Vision of Beauty...

I looked in the mirror tonight before I was going to bed and I thought to myself, Damn! That is One Fine Woman!

Yep, what with the lovely red pimply rash coming down the middle of my forehead, the bloodshot & swollen left eye, and the lovely greasy ooze coming out of it (from the ointment I must put in my eye to prevent herpes-related blindness), I am a Vision of Female Beauty. Plus, the fact that the roots of my hair (about 2" now) is definitely NOT red like the rest of it...

And I wonder why I can't hold a man? I mean, what man wouldn't be held in wide-eyed wonder at the vision I present tonight?

I don't know why, but this struck me as so very funny, I have laughed for several minutes before I decided that I needed to share it with the world. It's still making me laugh.

Shit. No wonder I'm single.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Hurricane Ike

So yeah, Ike.

I should start with the fact that my house had NO damage. No water damage, no wind damage, no rain damage. I sit less than 1/4 mile behind the levee in my town, not only did it break the storm surge, it also broke the strength of the wind. The tree damage in our area was all above 12-15 feet. No low damage. God himself put his hand over my house and protected it.

There was a small hole, 3'x3' in the roof of my garage, but it might give me a new roof for the garage, which would be ok, too.

I've had some friends lose everything, though. My friend that lives aboard lost her sailboat. Fortunately, she is able to get aboard and get her stuff off. And while the boat is totaled, it is still safe to get inside it and get her stuff out.

We had several people in our church that had a total loss in their houses. One was a young couple with a small child, they had 7-8 feet of water in their house, they lost EVERYTHING, baby pictures, clothes, keepsakes, you name it.

Several elderly couples lost all their stuff. It's one thing to start over when you're in your 20's, but how do you restart when you are in your 70's?

However, emotionally and physically, I didn't fare as well.

Since the bf didn't call me at all after Ike, I'm assuming that we are no longer dating.

Mom is still waiting for her appointment at the LCH, they needed her pathology reports from the initial cancer in '96.

I have fought off several fever blisters (I love the anti-viral ointments!!) only to have a rather large rash of SHINGLES erupt on my forehead. It's very attractive.

I got the boards off of my windows all by myself.

There is a 6' high by 5' long pile of brush in front of my house that mom helped me pile up last saturday. It as good for both of us, she needs to prove that she can still work and help around the house, and dad needs to learn to let her. Plus, I like to hang out with my mom, and she hasn't been away from dad for more than a couple of hours for MONTHS. I couldn't do it.

I think my boss is calling us in this week to help clean up and get started working again. This is good, but our animal lab, the place we do 75% of our work, the research that funds the vast majority of our research, is GONE. The basement of that building flooded, ruining the air handlers, the BSC's, the animal caging, watering system, it will take them MONTHS to get that facility together again. I don't know what we'll do in the meantime. I'm hoping the new building on campus will absorb us, but no telling at this point.

Thank you, God, for protecting my home, family and friends. Give us all peace. Amen

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Mom's PET Scan

So, last week mom had a PET scan done at her small regional hospital. Today they had he appointment with the oncologist. Not bad news, but not good news, either. The tumor's haven't grown since the last scan, about 4 or 5 months ago now, but they haven't shrunk, either. Basically, the cancer has stopped responding to the chemo they can give her there.

So, they are referring mom to the Large Cancer Hospital (LCH). Fortunately, we aren't too far, close enough to drive in for treatments, appointments, whatever. I don't know how this will work. I guess I'm going to have to use some sick time to go with them when they go in for treatments. I know dad will tell me I don't need to go in, I don't have to go in, but I will anyway.

My brother called me, asked me if dad had talked to me. I said yes, then he asked me how dad had sounded. I had already been thinking about that. Dad sounded...defeated is a good word. This spring was so hard on him, that when mom came home and was responding to the chemo, he put it all behind him. It really knocked his legs out from under him that mom will have to go to for treatment at the LCH (Large Cancer Hospital). I'm once again going to have to be the one holding dad up so that dad can hold mom up.

Dear Lord, watch over us all. Amen
PS, Jesus, I REALLY do have enough patience now. I don't think I'm due for any more patience lessons right now. Amen

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Holy Crap

Wow, did I fall of the deep end on tuesday. I can only plead not enough sleep and severe PMS.

BF, who is not, in fact, the anti-christ, finally called me last night. He was pissed about life and work in general, and he had a valid complaint against me. These two things, compounded by the overly-emotional melodramatic voice mail I left him, conspired to further piss him off.

Anyway, we have come to a tentative agreement, and we'll have to see how the next few weeks play out.

And what did I learn from this?

1. I have no doubt that this man was sent from God, because so far he has taught me a good dose of humility, and some modesty and is forcing upon me self-control. All are hard lessons to learn.

2. The week before my period I should make a large note on my calendar, so that if I over-react I might be able to catch it before I make a total ass of myself.

3. As I have already learned several times, I SHOULD NOT write emotional rants and immediately put them up for all the world to see. This also applies to emails, voice-mails, and text messages.

4. I shouldn't be so quick to assume the worst in others, especially in people I know and care about. I should give the benefit of the doubt in almost all cases, as I hope they will give to me.

Lord, It's a good thing you forgive all our sins. Please put in me the same desire to forgive, to see the best in others and their intentions. Help me to remember to look through Your eyes when I look at the world, and see that you do work for the good in ALL things. Amen.

PS: There will be no more posts to this page until the emotional storm has passed which should be around tuesday of next week. I'd hate to make an ass of myself too many times this week.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Hanes Silhouette Slimmer

I laughed until I almost cried. Thank you from Red Stapler for the link.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

"We need to talk"

The four worst words in a relationship, and especially abhorrent when coming from a man.

I have spoken to this man almost every day for the last 50 days. If we didn't talk, we texted.

All of a sudden today I don't get any text messages, he won't respond to my text messages, and he won't answer his phone.

I finally left a voice message that said, 'You haven't responded to any form of communication I have sent you today. You are 31 years old. We have been dating for 2 months. At the very least, I deserve to know why you are breaking up with me."

I'm not going to hear from him. He's not going to call. He's not going to come see me.

This was it. I don't know if I posted it previously or not, but this was it. I'm done.

It will be years now before I let this happen again. This is too hard, I put too much of myself out there to have it tossed back to me. He didn't break my heart, because I didn't let him get that close to it. But he broke a couple of dreams.

I had come to accept it. I am just destined to be single. There cannot be any other explanation. I had accepted it. I wouldn't bear children, I wouldn't be a wife, I wouldn't have that kind of life.

He made me think that I could have that. And that hurts me worse than anything else he could have done. I wish he had just broken my heart.

Hard week

You know it's going to be a hard week when you buy a $50 bottle of tequila and store it in the freezer so that you have nice cold tequila shots when you need them...

bf called me last night.

'We need to talk'