Tuesday, July 8, 2008

My dad

My dad is a strange man. I have never really known my dad. I mean, I know my dad, but I don't really KNOW my dad. I am just now starting to know his thoughts, his dreams, It has taken my mom getting sick before he has opened his shell to his family.

My dad was a Police Officer for more than 30 years, the last 15 or so as a Homicide officer in a Large Metropolis (LM). When I was first out of college, way back in 1997, he got me an interview with the PD as a Crime Lab person. The interview went well, but they weren't hiring, and life goes on as life does, and I ended up not taking that job. In the intervening 9 years, that crime lab has had MAJOR problems, and several times, the entire staff was fired. The crime lab errors have set guilty people free, and sent innocent ones to jail.

My dad had a fish fry on July 5th, and there were lots of his old PD buddies there. I don't know how we got to that conversation, but dad told that story, that he tried to get me hired on, and I turned it down, and man oh man, wasn't it a good thing? But what makes the story so important to me was that when he told it, I could hear the pride in his voice, that I had chosen well, that I hadn't given in to him and what he wanted, but that I had stayed strong and believed in myself that this wasn't what I wanted, and I would turn down a decent job to continue to search for the job I was looking for. Then he went on to tell them that I had a Master's degree, and in "Molecular Biology, now what the hell does that mean?". But there was pride, there was pleasure in my success, pride that I had persevered and succeeded. And while he does not understand what I do, and in fact, has tried to talk me out of my job several times, he does understand that not just anyone can do my job, and that I am good at my job, and that my job does have merit, even if I'm not paid as much as we both think I should be.

My dad is proud of me, even if he is unable to tell me directly, even if he has to tell me through others, that fact remains: my dad is proud of me. He will never know what that means to me.

I've been looking for 20 or 30 minutes for a passage I thought I remembered, but I can't find it now.  I thought it was a proverb, something about Children, good parents are a blessing from God.  If you know of it, please let me know.

God, thank you for good parents, those who push you in the right directions, who stand behind you, stand up for you, stand by and let you make mistakes, and who love you BECAUSE they are your parents.  Amen.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love you Cher! I just got tears in my eyes! You are such an amazing writer. I will go see G tomorrow in NE. Love ya babe!