Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Bull Durham clip

One of my FAVORITE all time movies. And apart from the weekend of sex toward the end, my favorite scene.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Medication adjustment

I went to see my psychiatrist yesterday, I've been not doing so well lately. Not sleeping well, not eating right, cranky, NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING makes me happy. I'm not happy at home alone, I'm not happy at home with company. I'm not happy staying in, and I'm not happy going out. I'm not happy with the food I eat, and I'm not happy when I don't eat. NOTHING makes me happy lately. I'm making excuses to not go out and be social, but then I get mad because I'm not going out and being social.

So Dr. B increased one of my medications. I started the new dose last night.

Oh my Goodness. I feel so much better today. The voices in my head must have gotten pretty loud lately, but kind of gradually, so that I wasn't aware of how loud they had gotten, until I took the increase in medication, and today those voices have shut up, and MAN ALIVE do I feel better. I can concentrate, I've gotten more done today than I have in weeks.

When I was first diagnosed, I was surprised at how much more normal I felt when the medication started to take effect. I didn't know it was that bad. The same way this time. I didn't realize how bad my moods had become, how hard I was fighting myself, how hard I was having to work just to function in a reasonable way.

I guess that comes with experience. I hope next time I won't let it go so long, I'll be paying better attention and get my medications adjusted early instead of late. But, My God Above, I am so glad I have the insurance to pay for the visits and medication so that I can functions properly again.

Lord, thank you for my good job with good benefits, thank you for doctors that listen and medications that work and enough money to pay for both of those things. amen.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Prescription copays


My mail-in copays for my prescriptions went up this past year. I was complaining mightily (to myself mostly) about How was I going to pay for it? I'd had a hard time sometimes last year getting those co-pays paid. I looked at my account, I owe them $75 right now. Then I looked at what the plan paid. $571.37 for ONE PRESCRIPTION. One. A single 3 month supply. Let's extrapolate that. $571.37 for 3 months x 4 refills in a year = $2285.48. For ONE of my prescriptions. That breaks down to about $191 per month.

The other one I take is also a name brand, they pay $480, I pay $75 for each 3 month supply.

Oh. My. Goodness.

If I didn't have insurance, I wouldn't be able to be on these medications, I would have a hard time holding down a job, which meant when I didn't have a job, I wouldn't be able to afford the medications, which meant I wouldn't be able to hold onto a decent job....
That's a wicked downward spiral.

I know America's health care system needs help, but I'm at a total loss as to how to fix it. I'm not sure nationalized health care is the answer, but I don't really know what else the answer could be. Maybe government regulation of certain prescriptions?

But then, drug companies aren't working on drugs like new antibiotics, or new short term mediciations, they are working on long-term maintainence drugs that people have to take for years, this gives them the maximum profits for their time invested.

God, show us a better way, a way for all people to get the medical help they need in a timely manner.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Spring Fever


I've been in a MOOD for the last several days. I haven't been able to put my finger on it. I've finally figured it out.


The birds and the bees and the trees, they're all having one version of sex or another, and here I am single. They're telling me telepathically I'm not participating in this annual rite of passage.

I KNEW there had to be a rational explanation.

Monday, April 7, 2008


Compliment of the Day:

"You're a really useful engine, my name.