Friday, March 7, 2008

That ugly green-eyed monster

Jealousy is a useless emotion. Pain has a purpose. It lets you know something is wrong, and with treatment or time, it is healed. Anger has a point. It helps you right wrongs, correct injustices, makes you stand up for yourself and what you believe. Fear even has a point. Fear makes you aware, makes you take action to avoid something that might give you pain, or even make you angry. But Jealousy has no purpose. It shows you something you do not have, but no way to get it. Jealousy points to what someone else has, and it does nothing to help you get it. All Jealousy can do is build inside you, build up pressure in such a way that there is not a way to release it without hurting someone else. Jealousy will make you unreasonable, will make you lash out at the people you are close to, it can even cause you to act in destructive ways, as in, If I can't have it, NO ONE can. No good can come of Jealousy.

And yet, how often do we all feel it? How often do we look at our friends and family, the very people we care the most about, and wish them ill? Wish that we had what they had, that we would be happier than they, that they don't deserve their happiness, and that if you could, you would take it away from them. And even in the midst of this misery that we create ourselves, we often wish others were with us, as miserable we are.

But there is a light. It is the peace that only God can give. Peace to know that while things might not be the way you want them, they are not (usually) not nearly as bad as they could be. Peace with going to God in prayer, showing Him this ugly, useless, destructive emotion, and having Him calm that beast within us. It doesn't always come easily, or quickly. Sometimes that jealousy will sit in our bellies for months at a time, lying dormant. It will come to life when you least expect it, and it will take you by surprise at the ferocity of it. But there is always God's peace.

Teach me, Lord, how to find your peace. Show me how to silence this beast within my own heart and mind. Give me the strength to look past what I don't have, and find all of the good things that I do have. Amen

1 comment:

molly said...

hi there. thanks for the encouragement on my blog. it meant a lot to me. i hope you have a wonderful day today :)